Get ready for a novelette!
Six beautiful years have passed and the time has finally come. Tomorrow, Levi is headed off to first grade without me. My stomach hurts, my heart feels broken, and if you knew how many tears I've shed you'd bake me a cake. (I like chocolate and strawberry and .... who are we kidding? It's cake. I like it all.)
So....why not continue homeschool?
Homeschooling the little years (Pre-K & Kinder) is something God laid on my heart a long time ago and I'm forever grateful for those 2 precious school years at home with Levi. We both took away SO MUCH from it and now my passion for that call God has on me for my children is even greater - I could chat about it for hours! But alas, there is a time for everything. Even a time for leaving Mommy. And for Levi, a child who thrives on relationship and craves social settings, it's time.
I will say that homeschool is never off the table for us. I'll also say that I've struggled more with this decision than any other part of parenting, going back and forth again and again...and again. But, after so much prayer, we feel it's important to explore both options and see where the most flourishing takes place (spiritually, academically, socially) and what works best for our family dynamic. I am excited to see what this school year looks like for us and we are confident that the Lord has Levi exactly where he needs to be.
Sweet boy can not wait! That makes it a tad bit easier .... I think? Maybe? Prayers for Levi greatly appreciated. Prayers for Mommy desperately needed!
Oh, and any words of encouragement are seriously desired since my plan for the day tomorrow is to hide in a corner cramming cheesecake down my throat, crying into Levi's favorite blanket, and obsessing over any words of wisdom you dear people may impart upon me. Oh, and stalker-circling the school until 3:15. Duh.
Oh Whitney, you are such a good mom! You no doubt are doing what is right in giving Levi the chance to explore his options. I will be saying prayers for him AND you. Thank you for sharing your life through this blog. I haven't commented many times but I've read along from the start. I have two boys as well and can relate to so much of what you write. God Bless!
ReplyDeleteWhitney, it'll be fine! Your heart will be heavy-but you'll have a lot to talk about when he gets home! When Ezra goes it'll be no big deal!
ReplyDeleteLevi will come home with a huge smile and an even bigger hug for his momma! Think of all the precious one on one time you'll get with Ezra. It's time he's never experienced. Good luck to both and Levi! Tell us all about it!
ReplyDeleteMy daughter starts first grade in a few weeks, and oh my heart is aching already. It's hard to know that the chapter of being home with her is over, but this new chapter is what she needs, and really, my job is to give her what she needs and prepare her for the world. After my freshman year of college, I ran into one of my favorite high school teachers at the grocery store and we chatted a bit. And she said to me, "I knew you must be doing well wherever you were because you didn't come back and visit a lot. I always worry about the kids who come back because I know they weren't ready to go." I have been thinking about that a lot lately as I send my firstborn off to full day school. She is over the moon excited because she is ready. And she is ready because I spent the first six years of her life teaching her and building up her confidence and giving her the skills she needs to do life. (At least first grade life!) And that gives me comfort when I think of how much I will miss her. Hugs to you, momma! It's hard to watch your heart go walking around outside your body, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteRemember: roots and wings :) You've certainly given him a wonderful place to anchor. You'll love watching him soar. And you've have a great time one on one with Ezra and it will bring growth to him as well.
ReplyDeleteThis came to my email this week and I had to share on FB. Maybe it will help you. http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/encouragement/how-to-trust-god-with-your-children-encouragement-for-today-august-10-2015.html
ReplyDeleteAs a mom to older kids who are hitting milestones that are not easy either...I encourage you to allow yourself some grace and allow yourself to feel.
And I encourage you to volunteer as well as communicate with his teachers. Why? Because you get to see him in that setting, it's life changing. This is our 11th and last year at our elementary school. I was terrified to let my son go that day as he was...I still remember his little hand in mine. But the school has become like family and very comfortable and safe for all of us so much that I got a part time job there. :) anyhow praying for both of you. You are strong and Levi is an amazing boy who will shine his light on everybody in his class and at his school. God has big plans for him.
My bitty baby started Kindergarten last Tuesday and it was SO sad for me. I actually held it together and had friends over. I was shaky and felt weird all day - like I was forgetting something or meeting new people or something. It helped to have friends over and stay distracted. I was NOT prepared that I would burst into tears when he came walking out to my car!
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You're just precious. My baby is only 13 months old and I'm already so nervous for this day!
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