I Almost Died.

Here's the story.

A few weeks ago, Husby and I went to the grocery store. We bought the usual groceries and toiletries, and went on our merry way. We went home and unpacked the groceries. I put the milk, juice and eggs in the refrigerator. I placed the cereal, flour, rice-a-roni and canned goods in the pantry. I threw the cleaning supplies in their proper places, and lastly, shoved my two brand new packs of mid-morning snacks on their special shelf.

I am ravenous in the mornings. I eat breakfast on the way to work and by 9:30 I feel as if my stomach is completely empty. I eat a yogurt or an apple sauce to get me by and always...always a pack of peanut butter crackers.

Since I have been on such a peanut butter crackers kick, while at the store a few weeks ago, I bought two packs of them to keep me stocked for a while.

Yesterday morning, as I was amidst my morning routine of putting on my makeup while watching Good Morning America, something caught my attention.

Peanut Butter Crackers.

"Oh, I must not be the only one who suddenly loves these salty little jewels - they're making National news!", I thought to myself.

Until I heard the world salmonella.

I dropped my mascara while smearing my eye liner as I sat with my jaw dropped in disbelief. The anchor was holding up TWO packs of peanut crackers while warning us: "If you have either of these packs of crackers, throw them away immediately. It has been discovered that they are carrying salmonella and this has resulted in five deaths to date."

I jumped up, ran into the pantry and checked my two packs of fresh crackers.

They were the exact two packs the anchor was holding. My eyes were fixed on the open package as I realized I had eaten 4 packs so far. I threw them away immediately and started to panic.



I broke out into hives, chills ran down my spine and sweat poured off my face. I grabbed my stomach and felt as if it were being attacked by millions of little salmonella amoebas. I started to heave and contemplated the nearest route to the Emergency Room.

Then....... I snapped out of it and realized I was just fine.




The human mind. It's a tricky little thing.

I rubbed little Levi and asked him if he had salmonella and he didn't answer. He did give me a little kick a few hours later though. I think it was his way of telling me that he was fine.

So...

If you don't hear from me in the next couple of days, please call the cops. I could be dead in my house surrounded by unopened packs of peanut butter crackers from the devil. If that's the case, you are all invited to my funeral.

On one condition.

You have to say really nice things about me and weep as loud as you can while wearing dramatic black head coverings. I want some mourning that people won't soon forget, guys!

And while you're at it, feel free to throw some fun goodies into my casket like some flowers and some loose diamonds to make me look pretty and sparkly. But please, no peanut butter crackers.

I can't believe I almost died.