Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Power of the Cell.

Today I'm going to fill you in on a little secret. I know, I know, I'm letting all my secrets out of the bag this week. Consider yourself lucky! This secret is a good one, and you will thank me in the end.

Do you ever get in a jam when you need a quick way out and have no excuse to free yourself? Fret no more! Whenever you need out of an uncomfortable circumstance .... all you need is your cell phone. My handy dandy cellular has bailed me out of more awkward situations than you can imagine.

For instance...

Time and again I have been attacked by the ever annoying "Mall Kiosk Creeps" who practically scream at you and drag you by the arm to come try out their product. I have tried telling them "no thanks, I have one at home", and "sorry, but I'm in a hurry", and somehow they still suck me in like a bee to honey and I'm stuck listening to a 5 minute schpeel about something I wouldn't take for free! It drives me insane! The only, let me repeat, ONLY way to get these guys to back off is to grab your cell phone before they make eye contact, press it to your ear and proceed to have a conversation with said phone. It works like a charm every time. And no one ever has to know that there is no one on the other end.

One evening a few years ago, Husby and I decided to dine at a local joint that we'd passed several times but never really heard anything about. Upon being seated and scouring the menu, we gasped as we saw the options and the prices for the dishes. We thought we were going out for a burger and fries and it ends up were were at a high dollar steak house that we couldn't afford.

"What do we do?", Husby whispered.

"I'll handle it, " I said. "Follow my lead."

I promptly picked up my cell phone as the waitress came to our table and said, "Hello? Oh hi! How are you? Wait. What?? Oh my goodness, you are kidding. Where are you? Okay. We will be RIGHT there."

I motioned for Husby as I "wrapped things up" on the "other end of the phone" and the waitress gave us a sympathetic look as I waved and said we couldn't stay.

Once again, the phone saves the day.

Time and again I have felt uncomfortable walking to my car alone at night and I've hopped on my cell. I've used it to avoid creepos trying to talk to me and a variety of other uncomfortable things that I somehow ALWAYS fall into.

My dad calls my mom a "Nut Magnet" - I swear she encounters the craziest people on earth. And I am quickly starting to believe that I am "Nut Magnet Junior". And the only way to free myself from The Nuts, is to pop up my cellular and keep on truckin'.

Trust me, it works.

28 comments:

  1. I pretty much do the same thing with those kiosk people!!

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  2. Love this post!! I know exactly what you mean... I often find myself doing the exact same thing.

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  3. I hate those kiosk people. About a month ago, I was walking around the mall, completely TIRED and cranky, and...preggo. Being preggers can bring out a new side to a woman I tell you! Because hubby and I were walking past a bunch of kiosks and someone JUMPED OUT in front of us trying to spray us with perfume and I screamed out "NOO!!! Leave us alone!!!" and walked away very quickly. Hubby busted out laughing...he never expected me to EVER scream at a kiosk person. I never expected myself to ever do that either. Everytime I think about that day I have to laugh!! :) Oh, pregnancy hormones....

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  4. I have definitely tried a couple of those tactics before! Works like a charm :)

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  5. LOL I love it! Those mall kiosk creeps always attack me too, and they are all conviently located in front of the elevator so when I'm pushing my baby in the stroller I have to pass them to get to the elevator. They just don't get "No Thank You" they always come at you with random questions like "can I ask you one question?" Uh annoying...no I don't want your damn hair straightener or your hand cream.

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  6. I've so done this! Especially at the mall.

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  7. Fellow Nut-Magnet here!!!

    My phone has bailed me out of some pretty strange situations too! When I walk underground through the subway here, I will sometimes scowl and make angry faces even if I'm not angry b/c I don't want people to think I'm an 'easy target', LOL!!! Don't try to rob me -- I'm angry!

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  8. That's a great idea for those mall kiosk people ... I typically am not very nice and do the stare-straight-ahead-and-ignore-them-while-walking-reallyreally-fast move. It usually works pretty well, but my hubby says I get this really angry look on my face (which is very unlike me.) Maybe the cell is a better option...

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  9. Haha. I did that in Vegas when those guys trying to sell time shares came running at us. Have you ever seen those guys? They are EVRYWHERE and 100x worse than mall kiosk people. They will literally step in your way and not let you pass. The cell phone trick is about the only way to deter them!

    Cabin Fever in Vermont

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  10. LOL. I despise the kiosk creeps too, I'll have to try that trick. Typically I'm just really rude and ignore them and keep walking, but that's just me ;) The steakhouse one cracks me up!

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  11. Ha ha, I can just picture you chatting away on your phone...to no one! I'd love to hear the conversations you come up with! ;) Must say, I've done this a time or two if I see a former student out and about in town...and if I can NOT think of their name to save my life! I just hop on the phone and give a quick wave when then come try to chat. Awful, but so helpful! ;)

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  12. OMG...this is too funny!! I may have to try this sometime!

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  13. I usually try to avoid eye contact with the kiosk people and that seems to work. One time one of them said "Can I ask you a question?" and I just said "No!" I wanted to point out that he had already asked me a question but that would have been engaging him in conversation!

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  14. I can manage to screw it up, though. I follow the same routine, pretending to be on the phone. Until your phone rings. And you look like an asshole. Whoops.

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  15. You are too funny! I am going to remember that trick for restaurants!

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  16. I have used all of your methods to avoid pesty people, but I've had it backfire a couple of times. When I have the phone to my ear, supposedly talking or listening, and it RINGS!!! I think I finally have my daughter (27) trained to avoid those people, too! She used to think it was so rude to avoid them. Now she thinks what they do is RUDE:))

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  17. I've done it with the kiosk people... but props to you for thinking of it in the restraunt!

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  18. lol, I have had to use my phone at one of those kiosk things before, too!!! You just have to hope that no one actually calls you while it's pressed up to your ear :D

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  19. I have totally pulled the same move on the mall kiosk people. Hilarious! Good call on the restaurant thing, though. I'll have to remember that one. :)

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  20. I hate those mall kiosk guys! Ugh, so annoying! Next time I'm totally bringing out the cell phone.

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  21. Done the cell phone trick many times. Works like a charm!

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  22. "Mall Kiosk Creeps" and "Nuts". You say you are a Christian; I see you give yourself the better name.

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  23. Oh my... I so the SAME thing! I can't stand the kiosk peeps. They want to use that straightener on my hair so bad and so I literally keep the phone glued to my ear until I get into actual stores. So funny!

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  24. Ha! I love the phone-call-to-get-out-of-the-restaurant thing; my mother did that the last time she visited, but she was horribly loud and awkward and just...oh, it was too funny for words!

    But at least we didn't overpay for dinner! :D

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  25. You know, those mall kiosk people are only trying to make a living. They're not "creeps" as you call them; they're people pounding the pavement to make ends meet. Maybe next time, giving them a little respect with a simple, "No thank you" would be more appropriate as I often find works.

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  26. I've talked to my cell phone countless times! It works!

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May the Lord bless you and keep you safe today! Thanks for the comment, friends! :)

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