Friday, October 10, 2008

Which Are You Feeding?

As women, we have the innate desire for “control”. We especially like to control our households and our marriages. I know that it is a constant struggle for me to put away my controlling nature, especially when I am dead-set that MY way is the RIGHT way.

Anyone with me?

Also, I think we set the tone for the household. Our husbands tend to go off our our attitude and emotions. If I am in a bad mood and feeling creepy, Husby’s demeanor tends to do the same. If I am upbeat and perky, Husby is the same. It’s weird to know that I have the potential to control how an entire day may go, just based on my attitude and emotions I display.

We are commanded in Scripture to submit to our husbands.
Ephesians 5:24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Not “wives should submit in some things, or a few things, or the things they choose”. But ALL things. Humbling, huh?

When we become believers, God’s children, we put on our “new self” and put the “old self” to death. In all aspects. Even the aspect we love most as women – the desire for control.

Ephesians 4:22-24
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

In Bible study this week, our speaker said something that slapped me in the face. She said (concerning the new & old self), “the one we feed, is the one that is going to grow.”

I catch myself so many times “feeding” the old self – whether it be in my attitude, impatience, anger, laziness….

How can I expect to grow closer to the Lord and grow more mature in my walk with Him if I am constantly feeding the “wrong self”? My new self will be stunted in its growth as long as the old self is getting all the food.

I need to nourish my new self – the one created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness, and starve my old self, so that it will surely die.

50 comments:

  1. How wonderfully true, and incredibly counterintuitive to the flesh. (And politically correct notions of the day!) Good for you, being a young married, and following God's way, not your own way!

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  2. Thank you! This is something I really needed to hear today. Don't neccessarily LIKE it, but NEEDED it. I appreciate the fact that you share so much of yourself on your blog.

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  3. This is a great post! Thank your for sharing and for encouraging us to feed our "new" rather than our "old."

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  4. What a wonderful thought provoking post.. Thanks for sharing..Just what I needed to hear this morning... : )

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  5. I have that whole control issue thing. I like my house a certain way and things done a certain way. I am trying to get better at this but I was slapped in the face the other day when hubby said, "I would help you clean but I know I won't do it right and you will just re-do it, so that is why I don't offer". WOW I felt so bad. Thanks for the uplifting post!

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  6. Whitney,

    You are awesome!

    It is SO rare these days to see a submissive wife. Most wives control the household--from setting the day-to-day mood, to making major purchasing deisions. They also degrade their husbands by the way they talkd about him. It disgusts me.

    It is so refreshing to come across someone like you!

    Have a great day and a wonderful weekend!

    Lori

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  7. Amen...Thank you for your post. So, so true.

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  8. This is very true! It is so easy to feed the old self. Thank you for reminding us about what we should be feeding. You are very right about us setting the tone for how things are going to go in our days and how our moods will affect our husbands moods. I tend to forget that and ruin the beginning of the time spent with Ty because I am in a sour mood.

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  9. I can definitely relate to the control thing. You are right and I constantly need to be reminded about feeding my new self.

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  10. We used that Bible verse for our wedding.

    I absolutely love it.

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  11. Great to read! You are right! We women do love to control. I can def relate to that!

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  12. Oh man! That submission thing sure is hard, isn't it? Wonderful insights, Whitney!

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  13. Thanks for the "wake up call!" I have been feeding my "NEW" self now for many years, but truthfully, there are times when "morsels" get to my "old" self :( I try, honestly I do and I know HE knows this and doesn't "beat me up" the way I do myself! Know what I mean? My hubby and I are generally on the same page of life and we definitely respect each others feelings and emotions!
    He knows I can be controlling as far as our children and making sure that things are in order and it works for us! He is my "soul mate" and has been for 16 years!!

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  14. Thank you so much for the quote from your Bible study. I am in a major transition phase in my life right now trying to overcome old tendencies and become a new (better?) person. Part of it is trying to recognize God's purpose for me and fulfill it. It can be hard, but reminders like yours to feed the "new" and not the "old" are so helpful!

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  15. I agree wholeheartedly and what a great reminder! So many women today hear the word submit and automatically think negatively. It's all about the attitude!

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  16. Thank you for that! Really makes you think doesn't it? I appreciate your honesty and for sharing your thoughts and beliefs.

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  17. Thanks for the wonderful words of wisdom. I like to spend quiet time reading my Bible in the mornings but I was running short on time this morning so it was great to read your post today, even though I think you stepped on my toes a bit! :) Being a submissive wife is something I struggle with but I'm working on it! Thanks for the encouragement!

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  18. You've been tagged! Visit my blog for the rules. :)

    Have a great day!

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  19. Very true. Thanks for posting that! :)

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  20. Thank you!! Loved this post! I definitely fed my "old" self last night, and ended up in a little spat with my fiance for it. I'm so appreciative that you posted this, it really makes me take a step back and analyze my actions and attitude.
    Happy Friday!

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  21. This is so true and makes such a difference. I think most women hear submit and take it the wrong way.

    Enjoy your weekend!

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  22. This was a beautiful post! It goes along amazingly with the one I did today.(God's timing is neat that way.)...Letting go of my former self was definitely a battle for me.
    (And still is some days.)

    Thanks for sharing your heart for God. I know that it encourages so many.

    God Bless,
    Amy:)

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  23. We were made for relationships... As women, we were REALLY made for relationships -- So... in the ultimate relationship of husband and wife, it's where all our "stuff" comes up -- You are wise in even seeing all this... loved the post --

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  24. Hi Whitney ~ what a wonderful post! Thank you so much for sharing!

    Hugz,
    Michele

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  25. great post! its good to be reminded of those things :) great scripture references!!!

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  26. phew. so this was a doozy for me, bc i have been struggling lately with my decision of... becoming religious. i won't go into details but religion is a HUGE thing that i struggle with, for many reasons, mostly my background. anyway, reading this, i grudgingly had to admit to myself that i am guilty of not honoring my husband. bc in this day and age, i am fed constantly w/phrases telling me i need to be a strong, assertive female, that i am just as good as any man, that just bc i am female doesn't mean i need to defer to a male.

    but then i think about what you said so eloquently here. why NOT want to honor my husband? why NOT treat him as someone who i hold above me, to honor, to cherish? that is how i would want him to treat me. why do i instead ignore that, and listen to the mainstream and think, just bc i'm female, i have to automatically try to control, and be stronger, than him. 'submissive' is not a dirty word- it's just been talked bad about by women who feel the need to control everything. i don't WANT to control my husband, nor do i want him to control me. i just want to love him and honor him and be a proud wife. is that so bad? i dont' think so.

    thank you for this post reminding me of my vows.

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  27. Wow, thanks for this post. I needed that reminder and you are right, it is so humbling. Have a great weekend.

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  28. This is soo true! I was just thinking a couple weeks ago, how I am much more of a control freak than I thought :) Mood definitely makes a difference, great reminder! Thanks for sharing, great post!

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  29. what a great post! I really needed that bc I have been travelling so much with work that I feel like I have lost control of so many things ... especially my house! I need to be reminded that I don't always have to be in control and that the things I do try to control are so insignificant in the grand scheme of life. xoxo~

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  30. That last paragraph says it all :)
    thanks for sharing that an inspiring others to stop feeding the wrong "me" :)

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  31. That is so true, I definately notice the attitude change in my husband as a result of my own. Trying to remain positive about life's circumstances isn't always easy, but through God all things are possible!

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  32. Oh how you are speaking directly to me (well except for the husband part) but the CONTROL part. Control is my idol. I feed it WAY too often.

    I'm doing a study book right now called "Calm my Anxious Heart"

    It's amazing.

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  33. Thank you for the daily reminder to "FEED THE RIGHT ONE".

    It was refreshing to read and remind myself of when I did so.

    Blessings!

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  34. Ok, that was so great!! I really needed to hear (or read) that. I don't think I've ever heard it put that way. Thanks so much!

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  35. Hmm... words to think on. Thanks for sharing your bible study - I know I should put that reminder to use!

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  36. Thank you, Whitney, for the reminder.

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  37. Admittedly, I pull the "well, I don't have to submit because we're not actually married yet" card a LOT...sure, we're not married, but we will be soon and I should be learning now! Thanks for the reminder.

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  38. I loved hearing that phrase about the one we feed is the one that grows!!! Man, I sure did need to hear that!!

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  39. I too can relate with what you said.
    Thanks so much for mentionning it on your beautiful blog.
    Kisses
    Debbie Moss

    (From England)

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  40. The next verses speak of husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the church. It becomes much easier to be a submissive wife when your husbands love as Christ loved the church. At that point we can truly know that he has our best interest at heart.

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  41. Thank yo so much for sharing what you're learning! It's an amazing lesson, and one that I, as a young wife of two years, am still trying to learn as well.

    How true is it that our attitudes certainly affect the attitudes of our partner! Crazy right? I'm always humbled and convicted that while we are to submit and let our husband lead us spiritually, how often my own faith (or lack thereof) can derail my husband!

    Thank you so much for sharing a spiritual post. It's a good mix with all the fun, cooking, and guns! :P

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  42. I'm not a very religeous gal, but your post was very thought provoking~ thank you!

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  43. Thanks, I needed that! How amazing is it that in submission, we can have such control over things (like attitude and the home atmosphere). And yep, it's up to us to feed the new and make it wonderful for the entire home. :)

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  44. Wow! I have some new material for my "Submission" talk for this year's Apples of Gold! Thanks Whitney and all of your followers. (That sounds a little cultish, doesn't it?)

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  45. It's a constant struggle, but I'm glad I'm not alone :-)

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  46. How very true-women struggle with this (me included), I always need this reminder. (But I do remind my hub, of something he said to me, "A happy wife makes a happy life"-I also agree with that!

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  47. Beautiful and inspiring words!

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  48. I really enjoyed your thoughts on "which are you feeding". Thank you so much for sharing! It really gives me something to analyze in my own life.
    And thank you for sharing your many talents! The recipe sounds delicious and your home looks beautiful decorated for fall.
    Have a wonderful week.

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May the Lord bless you and keep you safe today! Thanks for the comment, friends! :)

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