"I want to see Santa. But I am NOT sitting in his wap," was an every day sentence around our house the past couple of weeks from our little Ezra Ray.
I told him how nice Santa is.
How FUN Santa is.
And how he was going to be right next to Bubby as he sat on his lap.
"I am NOT sitting in Santa's wap."
As we stood in line to see the Big Man, the boys were so excited. Not a trace of fear to be found.
"I'm gonna tell him I want a mini Santa!" Ezra said.
"I'm going to tell him I want the Captain Toad Treasure Tracker game!" Levi said.
Wait. What? Why is this the first time I've ever heard of such a game and why is he just now deciding he wants Santa to get it for him? Toad what? Huh?? Man, it was getting hot in there.
When we were next in line and Ezra laid eyes on him in the big chair, he LEPT into my arms and wrapped those legs around me like baby Koala. He was not going anywhere. I needed someone to crank the AC and FAST.
"NO! NO! NOOOOOO!" he screamed as we approached Santa.
Pretty sure all of Cleveland could hear that baby screaming.
I pried him off of me, sweating and very near a full on heat stroke with my massive scarf and heavy winter coat suffocating every inch of my flaming red body. I placed him on the bench next to Santa.
The child LOST IT. Pretty sure the boys and girls waiting behind the door to see Santa thought they were in line to see the devil after this debacle.
"Here, move over Santa. Maybe that will help if he's not by you!"
Did I just order SANTA CLAUS to scoot over? I'm fully expecting a lump of coal this year.
Sweet Santa obliged, engaged my excited Levi in Christmassy conversation, and Ezra continued to yell.
They squeaked ducks.
I made silly (sweating) faces.
Levi was shouting, trying to tell Santa what he wanted.
I tried to eavesdrop so I could write down that blasted toad game in my phone when he wasn't looking.
It. was. a. circus.
After we paid, I ripped my coat and scarf off and booked it outside as fast as I could - soaking up that 30 degree air and trying to get my face back to ivory instead of the current BLOOD RED state it was in.
As soon as Ezra received his candy cane and walked out of the Santa headquarters he was all smiles. "I SAW SANTA CLAUS!! Oops! I forgot to tell him what I want."
No words, kid. NO. WORDS.
And there you have it.
Later that night at dinner, we went around the table each recounting our favorite part of our day.
Ezra's? "Seeing SANTA CLAUS!"