Monday, July 2, 2012

Heavy Heart.

This world.

Oh, this lost world.

Jesus come quickly.

I've had a heavy heart for the past couple of weeks concerning some tough life situations some friends are going through and the depravity of the world.  It seems that every time I turn around I see families torn apart, vulgarity glorified, and Satan sitting there ... laughing.

Satan is out to attack the family.  To rip it to shreds and demolish it completely.  Sadly enough, he's doing a pretty good job, and I believe the destruction of our relationships all begins with a single thought. As soon as we get our thoughts off of the Lord and let our minds wander, the battle begins.  As Christians, we have to be aware.  We have to be on our toes.  We have to be on guard, shielded and ready to stand firm in our faith, even if it's deemed "old-fashioned" or "close-minded".  

I am shocked at the blatant attack on women, specifically, in the media right now.  Satan knows he has a stronghold on millions of men and young boys through pornography - that's old-hat, nothing new.  Now he is pouncing viciously on women and all too many are blinded by it.  He is crafty and is using any tool he can to draw women and girls into the pit of pornography.  And lately, his success is overwhelming.  The books and the movies being talked about all over the interwebs are repulsive.  Women do not see their books and or "girls night" movies as pornography because it's not "typical".  It IS pornography and it is every bit as explicit and every bit as wrong. 

Men are visual creatures and that is why internet/magazine/etc. pornography is wildly rampant in so many lives today. Women are emotional.  Satan knows he has to use a woman's imagination/mind to capture her. He uses steamy story lines to suck her in to becoming emotionally attached to fictional characters - people who do not even exist!  In the mean time, her mind is being corrupted and she is left with feelings of inadequacy in her own life, finding herself desiring the things and the people she reads about. Not who and what she really has here in the flesh! 

It. Is. Dangerous.

I saw a preview for a movie last week that said, "after this weekend, your boyfriend won't be good enough and you'll leave wishing you were single".  Seriously?  And that is supposed to draw us in?  And somehow, it does!  We are throwing away real and meaningful relationships for idealized personas.  Lusting over men who are not our husbands.  Satan gets but a foot in the door of our minds and he can overtake it completely - leaving us empty ... alone.

I have heard story after story of broken marriages and when the problems began.  It all began with a single thought.  One thought not taken captive and put to death led to a string of thoughts.  The thoughts became an action.  The actions destroyed lives.  A single thought that took them farther than they ever wanted to go, cost them more than they ever wanted to pay, and left them longer than they ever wanted to stay.  

We have to be aware.

If our husbands were reading these explicit books and having a "guys night" to watch naked women thrusting and prancing about on the big screen - how would we feel?

Inadequate.

Undesirable.

Rejected.

Unwanted.

Dejected.

How is it wrong for them but okay for us?  It's a double standard and I can not understand it.

We have to guard our minds, ladies.  And we must pray for the minds of our husbands and children.  It is vital for the structure, duration, and integrity of our relationships.  And most importantly, to glorify the Lord.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Phillipians 4:8-9

Thanks for letting me share my heart.  



63 comments:

  1. I could not agree with you more. Fabulous post and thank you for taking the time to write it!!

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  2. I appreciate what you have to say. And you are right there is a double standard many times.

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  3. Wonderful post, full of truth based on God's truth, not the world's perception of truth. How many of us would sit so hard on our feet if we could see what damage it would (and will) cause by sticking it in the door and inviting sin in. Thanks for this!

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  4. Fantastic post Whitney, completely agree!

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  5. Breaks my heart. We need Jesus!

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  6. Preach, sister. I learned long ago that even some "innocent" books I read can have an impact on my relationships. Heck, while reading Twilight I found myself subconsciously annoyed with and disappointed in my husband just because of the impossible standard this silly Edward Cullen vampire was setting! Ridiculous!!! Thanks for calling out some of these sneaky temptations that are hanging out in our culture these days.

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  7. Thank you for writing this. I hope any readers struggling with this will be changed by your words for the better. I couldn't agree with you more.

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  8. Well said! I could not agree more, and I think more women need to really think about this, it's not just a movie or a book.

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  9. Amen to that!

    So many people I know seem to be reading the books to which I think you are refering. I am shocked that noboady seems in any way ashamed to be reading such things. Nobody seems to even consider how it might make their husbands feel. It's shocking and as you say, a disgraceful double standard.

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  10. Oh my. I have never even thought of it that way until you said it out loud! Or, you know, wrote it. Of course it's exactly like that! Someone mentioned Twilight and Edward. I think it is a great example of what you just said - people have left their relationships because of the way he is and how no-one could ever "match that" (he's a vampire, for crying out loud!) and I, too, found myself having thoughts like "why is my husband not like this" and it's scary! Oh, God bless you, Whitney. I definitely remember to thank God for you and your blog in my prayers. And thank Him for my amazing and real husband who loves me.

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  11. Dear God. Dangerous for you, obviously. Certainly not for everyone, and not for most mature adults, men or women. Honestly, you sound as if you're teetering on the brink of an erotic abyss, praying like mad you don't succumb.

    Evolve a little.

    Deana

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  12. My biggest problem with the books, in addition to what you are referring to, it is a rip-off of Twilight. The fact that this author is making so much money on something that is nothing more than fan fiction annoys the crap out of me. While normally I'd say "anything that gets people reading", I just can't. Also, in both books-they are fictional characters and no man will ever compare so saying he's "perfect" is ridiculous.

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  13. Thanks, Whitney, for sharing this! For taking a stand! You have just said exactly the way that I have been feeling with every decline I've given to participate in these activities. It really is heartbreaking.

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  14. I don't want you to take what I'm about to say as a criticism, I'm just sharing my point of view. I also apologize for the length, I just kept writing and writing... So this comment will be in a few parts...sorry :)

    First I want to point out there is a fallacy in the idea that men are only visual and women are only emotional. There are asexual and low libido people of both genders, there are many men who NEED an emotional connection to feel sexually attracted to someone, and there are many women who are easily visually aroused. Certainly it is a stereotype for a reason, but it is always helpful to look at the complexities of any issue.

    Second, (and this really is purely opinion) I don't think satan creates things so much as he creates temptaion. Some people do not watch porn,they genuinely couldn't care less about it, but their issues might revolve around alcohol, or gossip, or lying ect. I personally do not drink alcohol, but it is easy to see how the problem is temptation because some people will only ever drink a glass of wine at a special occasion while there are others who are deeply addicted to it. I think satan (aka temptation) makes it very hard to make good decisions in our lives because sometimes it is so much more gratifying to do what we want in the moment rather than do what is good.

    My grandmother got divorced from her violent and abusive husband, but her second marriage has now lasted for 52 years (53 in July) Her view, which I share, is that people don't try to fix things anymore, they just throw them away. How many people still sew up a rip in their clothes instead of just throwing them out? I think rather than divorce being a problem, we have developed a sort of disposable attitude towards many things, and that attitude has seeped into marriage.

    I think couples counseling is a very taboo subject but we should ALL embrace it. We should commend people for trying to fix their marriages instead of throwing them out. Couples should get counseling to improve their marriages, even if there are no big issues. Couples should get marriage counseling BEFORE getting married.

    Orthodox Jews, who take their old testament laws very seriously, even have a way to divorce. It is called a 'Get', and while re-marriage is prohibited, it allows two people who are completely incompatible to divorce instead of killing each other. I'll point out that following the introduction of no-fault divorces in the 1970s, domestic violence rates dropped between 20-30% across America. Significantly fewer married women committed suicide, and fewer women killed their husbands as well. Now, obviously the flip side to that is that many marriages that could be saved are being discarded, and divorce is very very detrimental to the children in these families.

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  15. part 2

    Because we now have the CHOICE to get married and the CHOICE to get get divorced (our ancestors did not) we have the CHOICE to make bad decisions and be tempted by satan ect. I would not want to be sold into marriage by my father, and I would want to be able to divorce my husband if he was abusive ect. I don't think the answer is to restrict our choices but to step up, and take responsibility for our lives.

    You are absolutely right about thoughts affecting reality. A simple thought can affect your attitude, a change in attitude can affect your behavior, and a behavior can so easily become a habit, and habits are so hard to break. If you spend a lifetime with someone, it is easy to fall into bad habits, and hard to break them.

    I think that, even aside from erotic literature/films ect there is this danger of believing on some level, that fantasy or fiction is what the real world is like.

    When I was younger I watched TV shows with characters in high school, and I went into high school thinking it would be like what was on TV. For the first few weeks I acted like a character on TV until I realized my school was nothing like that. Most people were genuinely nice, the athletes respected the nerds (at my school most of the athletes were the top academic performers too) and I had a much better time once I realized high school wasn't anything like what it is on TV.

    No one is like the people on TV. Writers can sit for days before coming up with some snappy dialogue for a script. Likewise, writers can work for years on characters in books to make them "perfect". Real people aren't edited, so they will always be disappointing if we think fictional characters are believable.

    Male or female, we are all bombarded with fantasy (sexual or otherwise) from tv to advertisements to books to magazines. We buy into it as a form of escapism, but it is up to us to keep our heads screwed on and our feet firmly planted in reality.

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  16. Thank you Whitney for expressing your conviction and taking a stand. Unfortunately, some women will mock you or criticize you for being strong enough to do that. It always amazes me that women who want women to be strong sometimes only want them to be strong if it agrees with their own agenda.

    I agree with your post 100%.

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  17. Just had a discuss with my husband about this same exact topic. I would be ashamed to have people see me reading this. We have a friend that is a dentist and he actually made a comment on facebook about his patients bring "porn" into his office...I could not agree with him more.

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  18. What a great post! My thoughts exactly. I actually wrote a post awhile back, similar to this about women needing to guard their hearts when watching certain chick flicks, or even reading Christian romance novels, because they can be very idealistic about relationships. But these new books/ this new movie take it to a whole new, physical extreme. Thanks for the reminder!

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  19. Thanks, Whitney. So glad to see someone standing up against the rampant success of various popular movies and books.
    I'm disturbed to see the current book craze so accessible at local bookstores. I'm sure it has made it's way into the hands of many impressionable minds.
    I actually do not read any romance books anymore - including Christian fiction - because I find that it leads to unrealistic expectations.
    I find it ironic how many mommy bloggers in one post have been extolling the graces of their Mommy "porn" talking about how while it is explicit, there is good character development (although one of my friends read the book and said the writing is horrible), and then in the next post they are talking about organizing their churches VBS. It sickens me, and yet no one speaks up. Thanks again!!!!

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  20. I completely disagree with you. I'm assuming you are talking about the book series 50 Shades. There is so much more to the storyline that you discover while reading it.

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  21. Whitney! Thanks for sharing. I have been wanting to say something but just haven't been bold enough. You are wonderful. Just remember that when people have been convicted or had their toes stepped on they will lash out. Don't sweat it. It is truth!

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  22. Amen and AMEN! Your words were laced with convictions, sincerity, and truth. I don't think anyone could have said it better. Well done, my friend.

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  23. I NEVER comment, but I had to on this because I am so thankful you wrote this. Thank you.

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  24. Love this!! I could not agree more!!

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  25. Oh my. This post is completely looney, it's almost scary. I've read your blog for awhile, even though we are very different, but I always appreciated the common ground we had in motherhood. But this is just too much. Normally I don't make it a habit to judge strangers, but clearly you have no problem with it since you just judged millions of women, so I'm going to state that it seems very clear you are just like a little girl who has zero idea what the real world is like, as you've lived your entire life shielded in a bubble which I just don't think is a healthy way to live. And didn't Jesus immerse himself amongst sinners, including prostitutes, to show them his all encompassing love and forgiveness? Seriously, maybe you need to do some volunteer work among different walks of life to give yourself some new perspective beyond your extremely elementary way of thinking. If you honestly think a woman who reads 50 Shades of Grey is going to start questioning her own partner and deeming him inadequate and thus turning to Satan....then clearly you have no idea what it feels like to be in a healthy, secure, fulfilling relationship. And I hate to break it to you...erotic romance novels have been a part of literature for centuries. Google is your friend, girlfriend. Unless google is the work of Satan and therefore banned from your bubble too? I mean really, get a grip.

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  26. I have never commented before, even after reading for years, but your post is so needed. After seeing on other blogs about how great 50 Shades was, I went and bought the books. I had NO clue what they were about. I was SO embarassed when I received the book and actually read some of the filth within. I have heard so many people try to justify them with the plot line, and it's ridiculous. It is nothing but porn. I am also so surprised by the older women who are embracing both books and movie. I think we need to stop and think about what we read and see. Would I want to sit and read/watch it with Jesus? I think not. Thank you!!

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  27. Reminds me of the casting crowns song, "Slow Fade." Do you know it?

    Also, I am with you on the movies. I don't hardly watch romantic comedies anymore because it just sets you up to be dissatisfied.

    ~K

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    1. This seems a bit extreme. So I shouldn't read Pride and Prejudice because Mr. Darcy is dreamy. Or I shouldn't watch Cinderella because Prince Charming is quite a catch.
      I love my husband and no fictional (or nonfictional for that matter) can sway that.
      And while Allie is quite (and unnecessarily) harsh in her wording I can't help but agree to some of her thoughts.

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  28. thanks for having the courage to post TRUTH. keep that head held high.

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  29. Amen sista! ;) I agree 100%, and was blessed / encouraged by your words today. We must guard our hearts, minds, and marriages...and that takes intentional effort to fill our lives with things that are pleasing to God.

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  30. Amen sista! ;) I agree 100%, and was blessed / encouraged by your words today. We must guard our hearts, minds, and marriages...and that takes intentional effort to fill our lives with things that are pleasing to God.

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  31. Just posted something similar last week. The devil makes it look "okay" and even "normal" to draw women in. It's the everyone's doing it mentality, but the saddest part is so many are willingly letting him. I know so many women that just don't see a problem with these books and movies.

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  32. Thanks for sharing. I totally agree.

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  33. You are absolutely right about the double standard. I think it's vital that we guard our hearts and our minds... this post took guts to write, but I'm so glad that you did. Don't worry for a second about the criticism you're receiving/going to receive... it's worth it to speak the truth.

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  34. I was interested in reading your opinion, but disagree with you very much, but I respect your opinion and because you are different I'm not judging you. But, you appear to be judging everyone that disagrees with you. I don't follow organised religion, but didn't Jesus say "let he who is without sin cast the first stone"? You appear to be throwing stones. I'm sure you think that I am in the firm grasp of Satan or something but good luck to you :)

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  35. Couldn't agree with you more Whitney!! Thank you for having the courage to post this- knowing you would get criticism like you have already!! It's those people who are doing wrong that criticize because their toes got stepped on!

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  36. I do agree that there is a double standard. However, I also feel as though just because you've read a book or seen a movie, does not mean you are going to be led astray just because you've viewed it.

    Everyone has something that tempts them, and gets led into sin. For me, it's speeding. For you it may be something else. While it's great and fine to state your opinion over something, I feel as though you are forgetting about the plank that may be in your own eye (something I have so struggled with!!) -- and judging a large group of women.....well, I know there's no need to quote the Bible to you.

    Though I do think it is amusing that back in the day, Song of Solomon could not be viewed by Jewish rabbis until you were married/hit the age of 30, which is pretty provocative (given it's in a monogamous relationship) to what is classified as okay to view today.

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  37. Definitely agree with you, thanks for writing. I find it sad that some people's comments clearly misunderstand what you are writing about. Jesus was immersed in the culture, reaching out to those in need but was not OF the culture. Very big difference. Keep writing truth here, it's a breath of fresh air for those who want to hear it!!

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  38. Great post, Whitney! As some have said, we are not supposed to judge others, but we are also told that if we say nothing about sin, we as Christians are just as guilty as those sinning. I have seen enough reviews to know these books/movies are dangerous. It also saddens my heart to hear everyone making such a fuss about these. I think it is absolutely right for us to guard our hearts and thoughts. When we think we are above these thoughts, and "mature" enough to read or see these types of things and be above then is when we need to be the most careful. Satan is just waiting...

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  39. Great post, Whitney! As some have said, we are not supposed to judge others, but we are also told that if we say nothing about sin, we as Christians are just as guilty as those sinning. I have seen enough reviews to know these books/movies are dangerous. It also saddens my heart to hear everyone making such a fuss about these. I think it is absolutely right for us to guard our hearts and thoughts. When we think we are above these thoughts, and "mature" enough to read or see these types of things and be above then is when we need to be the most careful. Satan is just waiting...

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  40. Amen, sister!! Loved this post!

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  41. I generally do not respond to online posts. I make it a habit not to get into heated debate or thrust my opinion on others. That being said, after reading this post and all of the responses to it, I felt compelled to comment. I have been a follower of Whitney's blog for quite some time. I began reading her posts after getting to know Whitney, her husband, her sister-in-law, and her brother about six years ago. I was a classmate of her husband and sister-in-law, and came to know them well during our 4 years of medical school. Please make no mistake, while I would be thrilled to be friends outside of school/work with these incredible individuals, we never really had the opportunity to become close friends. So, I write this as someone who knows very well about the people I speak of, but has no hidden agenda and is not partial in any way. This post is one of the most thoughtful, insightful, and genuine posts I have ever read on this blog. Knowing Whitney and the kind of person she is, this was not intended to be a judgmental posting. I believe sometimes when we live differently from someone else, it is easy to feel "attacked" when they express an opinion. Please know that in person, I have never experienced Whitney coming across as judgmental (in fact, far from it), and I am certain if you could've seen the look on her face and heard the words she was saying when she shared this opinion, that you would not have felt attacked.

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  42. . I realize that Whitney writes some very sappy posts at times that are very idealistic. That is who she is. She is an old-fashioned girl, who believes in family values, manners, and hospitality. It isn't fake. You know how I know? Because in getting to know these individuals, I also got to know Whitney and Luke's mother. I spoke with her on more than one occasion. Let me tell you right now, I have never met a more genuine, kind-hearted, old-fashioned lady than Whitney's mother (the woman she repeatedly deems her hero, and the woman she most aspires to be like). And really, what is wrong with someone being idealistic, hopeful, and ever-optimistic? I have often come to Whitney's blog during times when I have been under a lot of stress or in the midst of difficult situations. As a medical student, and now a resident, I have been faced with some of the most horrific things you can imagine. Reading Whitney's blog has reminded me that there are still good, pure, innocent things in the world. There is still at least one person that values solid family values and a simpler life. Now, she has written something a little different from her lighter posts, and maybe this has just caught some of her usual readers off guard. She has shared something close to her heart and something about which she is passionate. Whether you agree with what she has to say or not, you should at least be able to see that this post was written with good intentions and a hope that she might be able to help one person who might be letting one kind of temptation destroy their marriage or their family.

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  43. If Whitney is who she says she is on this blog time and again (a woman who treasures her God, parents, husband, children, siblings, and in-laws as she does), a post as this should be expected. She wants to preserve something that she holds dear. The thing is, I know Whitney is who she says she is. I have seen who she is over time, and had the opportunity to see her through the eyes of her husband and sister-in-law, as well. She has a very good heart, and is not sitting in judgment, but rather is trying to share a concept that she feels might be beneficial to at least some of her readers. Whether we like it or not, many of us (myself included) hold our husbands to a different standard than that to which we hold ourselves. It is one thing that can destroy a marriage - one very serious thing. In marriages in which adultery or abuse does not exist, there are still a growing number of couples who are turning to divorce because they are not committed to fixing things or are unwilling to take responsibility for their part in things falling apart. It takes two willing and committed individuals to make a marriage work, and when we allow the things of this world to become more important than our commitment, our vow, and our love for our spouse, it is very easy for things to unravel. I believe this is what Whitney was trying to express. The beautiful thing about this world we live in is that we all have an opportunity to share our opinions, and if we have an open mind about what others have to say, there is opportunity for growth and understanding. There were some people who agreed to disagree with his post in a very respectful and cordial way. If you disagree with this post, there is a way to share your insight in a way that might impact others in a positive way or shed some light on a complicated and difficult subject. I believe Whitney's original post was written with a great deal of candor, but was direct and to the point. I happen to be of the camp that agrees with what she has to say, but I am open to hearing the opinons that others might express (even if there is a chance I will ultimately disagree). Regardless, one thing we can all agree on, is that our children deserve to grow up in stable, happy, healthy homes, and the more we work to problem solve and make a difference, the better chance we have of creating such an environment. Whitney is clearly one person who believes strongly in such a concept, and I commend her for taking a risk and sharing her thoughts.

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  44. I have read your blog for a couple years now and completely love how you are open and honest with your commitment to Jesus Christ and following his teachings. The rift between good and evil is becoming farther and farther and Satan is taking the hearts of so many. So many people think that these things are just normal and commonplace. It is hard to watch so many tv shows nowadays because much of it is soft porn. We need to protect our families, even something little can turn into a huge problem if not nipped in the bud immediately. Thank you so much for sharing this message! I love knowing that there are still good people in this world! My husband and I were just talking this morning about how pop music has changed so much so quickly. I used to rock out to NSYNC and Jessica Simpson (to name a few) and now the pop music on the same stations are blatantly speaking of immorality and that it is normal. This is another huge way that Satan is trying to make sin seem just fine. The family is what Satan is trying to break because it is the fundamental building block of why we are here on earth and how we learn of our Heavenly Father and become like Him.
    And to all those hating on Whitney, yes Christ went among sinners, but he went to them to bring them to repentance. In the Bible, He never condones what they are doing, but tells them to "follow him" which means to become like Him.

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  45. Whitney, this is a comment of support for you... I actually have commented like once and it was negative.. about the queen sized bed and being snobby... BUT, I wanted to support you on this. I agree that its important to protect your marriage from unrealistic expectations, from sin, and from inappropriate relationships with others. You got some negative feedback here - and I wanted to tell you I was up late last night when you posted this and read it on my phone, and I got too fired up to sleep, thinking about women who are opening up themselves to sin and consequences of sin by participating in the movie and book you mention. I voiced a similar opinion on my own blog, too, and I know people will disagree with me for the sake of Girls Night Out! and other thinly veiled excuses. I honestly MUCH prefer these type of Whitney Soap Box and Deep Honest Thought posts to the fluff about Peter Rabbit cribs... :o)... there's lots of design blogs for those things, but few for real truth like this!

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  46. Whitney, you may or may not read all of these comments, but in case you do I wanted to tell you this...I have been reading your blog for a long time and have maybe only commented once. I had to speak up about this though to say thank you! I am a Christian woman married to an amazing Christian man. I actually had plans to see this particular popular movie later this week with a girlfriend and honestly didn't think anything of it...until I read your post. I had not even thought of it in the way you discussed, and after reading your post I felt very convicted by the Holy Spirit. I realized that we have become so desensitized to these types of movies/books, etc. I would be extremely upset if my husband participated in a "guys night" like you described, so why is it ok for me? It's not!

    I told my husband about your post and he actually admitted to me that he didn't want me to see the movie, but just hadn't told me because he wanted me to make my own decision. Then I called my Christian girlfriend that was going to see it with me and told her, and she said she had just been thinking the same thing! Needless to say, we have made other plans :) Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for having the courage to write this post even though you knew everyone would not agree. I LOVE that you are not ashamed of the gospel! And, from one Christian woman to another, I thank you for reminding me of the truth!

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    1. Britt,

      Thank you so much for sharing this. You made my heart swell. Kudos to you, girl, for taking a stand. You are awesome!! XOXO!

      Whitney

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  47. I rarely ever comment, but read all of your posts. This was a fabulous and well thought out post, that I completely agree with. I believe it is so important to be careful about what we watch and read, in order to preserve purity in our minds and marriages. I wouldn't want my husband watching the "man equivalent" of the movie, so no way would I go see it. Thank you for your honest and wise post!

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  48. Thank you so much for posting this. To tell you the truth I read the first 50 shades book, I kept hearing so much about it on blogs,TV, news. I just gave in. I knew while reading it that it was not something I should be doing, but I kept reading. I'm now sick that I wasted my time reading such filth. I could have been spending that time doing other more productive things. Before this blog post I decided not to read the 2nd or 3rd books. I just knew in my heart it was wrong. Also we had plans to go see that move this previous Friday night and they fell through, which now after reading you blog post I'm happy they did and I will not be going to see that movie. I will from now on be more guarded as to what I watch and read. I commend you on posting about things people don't want to hear! Keep up the great work, and I look forward to following along with you. Thanks for getting me back on "track".

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  49. Just wanted to offer another voice of support. This is spot on! I'll be honest, at times I've been tempted to download these books(so nobody would see me buying them, of course) just to see what the hype is about, but it's just not worth it! I am a very jealous wife and the idea of my husband reading or watching things such as these would send me into a tailspin. Bravo on your courage, Whitney.

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  50. I couldn't agree more. I realize this is not a "popular" opinion, but either way, I agree.

    Thanks for posting!

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  51. I totally agree, Whitney! =)

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  52. I've never commented on your blog, but felt like this was the time. A little background, I am a 29 year old Christian female who has been married for almost 10 years, and I would consider myself pretty open minded. I was begged by some female family members to go along with them on a girls night that would end with going to see the movie that you are undoubtably talking about in this post. I honestly did not want to go, I never had any desire to watch this movie. But I was talked into going and I told myself it wouldn't be that bad. Boy, was I wrong. I knew in the first 3 minutes that it was not for me. But I stayed, and watched with what I'm sure was a horrified look on my face. At one point I was fighting back tears because I was so uncomfortable. I love my husband very much, and have no desire to look at any other man in that way. I finally left the movie about an hour into it. The only reason I lasted that long is because I was in the middle of the row and I didn't want my friends to think they had to leave because of me. I used the old "I gotta go to the bathroom" excuse and got out of there! It was horrible, and I was so embarrassed that I watched at long at I did. I totally agree with you.

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  53. Thank you so much for having the courage to write what is on your heart. I have been talking to my daughters about this just this week, but you express it much more eloquently. I am forwarding this on to them.

    My daughter's nanny brought the book I believe you might be referring to, into their home and I was appalled! It was the same as there being a Playboy in the room with my grandson.

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  54. THIS is why I keep reading your sweet blog. Not just to follow along with your cute family. But because you are HIS, and you make it known. You speak TRUTH. And I pray this truth gets through to so many women who are getting caught up in the nasty books out there right now. Keep preaching it because don't so many need to hear it!!

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  55. Oh be careful little eyes what you see
    Oh be careful little eyes what you see
    There's a Father up above He is looking down in love
    Oh be careful little eyes what you see!!

    Thank you for being so courageous and standing up for your convictions Whitney!!

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  56. i respect your opinion that you don't want to read the books and see the movie you reference but that doesn't mean that others can't. just because you watch a movie doesn't mean you are going to cheat on your significant other. that is insane. eveyone is entitled to their own beliefs but at the same time i think you need to have an open mind. there is a point for everyone where something crosses the line of what they are comfortable with. i really enjoy your blog but posts like this make me realize how closed minded religion can make you. it is great to have beliefs but when they get in the way of creating your own thoughts it is just dangerous.

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  57. I read this the day you posted it and have been back several times to read comments. I guess I get nervous commenting because I doubt you read them and I just write what I am thinking. I read this and related so much but did not realize I did. When the books you speak of came out and were so talked about they did not even peak my interest. Same with the movie I literally had to Google the movie because so many people were talking about it and it did not even make my radar on the commercials etc. While at first one could say I don't pay attention I would have to disagree and say it is because I am satisfied with both my God and my husband. While I am a girl who loves a cheesy romance comedy it often does make me think well that is not what happened with me. But beyond that the desire of the temptation type things no longer exist. I have to say while I have always had a relationship with God I have not been loud about needing more since high school. Finally I told my husband it was in my heart that I needed and wanted more. So after we moved a few weeks ago I started a new church. I heard from our Pastor tonight and he said so you are jumping in with both feet because I am starting a marriage Bible study on Sat. my response was yes that is how God wants it! Thank you for speaking your truth and inspiring many of us to seek a deeper relationship with God and to be proud of it and proud of what he has made possible in our lives such as movies and books like this to pass by me without me even noticing.

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  58. Desensitize: to be made emotionally insensitive or unresponsive, by long exposure or through repetition.
    Society’s standards continue to fall and that is attributed to why all of these current books, movies, tv shows etc continue to prosper and be so popular, our standards are that low now as a society we justify and allow the media to feed us all this garbage. We (you and I Whitney) are deemed as close minded, naïve, and what did Allie call you, elementary because we are not allowing ourselves to be desensitized by today’s culture. Kuddos to you for stepping up! That is the only way we can fight against the nonsense going on in this world today is. Your post was not judging, you were just sharing your opinion and you go ahead and share your opinion all you want because this is your blog, your posts and if I don’t like them I stop reading.

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  59. I wanted to leave a comment in support of you! Thank you for putting into words so perfectly why Christian women should be taking a stand against these books.

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  60. Love your heart and love this post.

    Shyla

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May the Lord bless you and keep you safe today! Thanks for the comment, friends! :)

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