Monday, June 25, 2012

Angels & Ghosts ... IN MY ROOM!

Baby monitors.

They're there to give us peace of mind. To protect our thoughts and to alert us against harm.  They let us peek in on our babies without waking them, and allow us laugh at all the cute things they do in their sleep.  Awww... sweet, precious, lovely little baby monitors.

Uh, not so much.

My baby monitor is there to kill me.  Kill me dead.  I am absolutely positively sure of it.

You may recall me singing the praises of my Angel Care Monitor.  It has a sensory pad to detect movement of your baby and if there is no movement for a couple of seconds (note: breathing movement), alarms sound and you can rush to your babies side.

Genius, right? 

Absolutely.  I will never argue that.  

But what the ole Angel Care never told you is that though it saves your babies from harm while sleeping, it creates myocardial infarctions in the parents.  That's right ... my monitor nearly gave me a heart attack. 

Twice.

It all started when we first got the monitor and hooked it up.  Ezra was next to our bed in his bassinet and we had the sensor pad part hooked up so that if something happened we would be notified.  The video part was pointed aimlessly about the room because it didn't matter where it was pointed - he was right next to me.

I woke up in the middle of the night to make sure the sensor pad was still working (paranoid Mommy right here, y'all).  There is a little bell that moves back and forth on the hand held part that lets you know the sensor is ... well, sensing, I guess.  

It was about 3AM, and as I peered into the monitor I SAW AN ANGEL!

And then it disappeared.

I'm tired.  I'm delusional.  That explains it.  

So, I rubbed my eyes and looked back into the monitor.  Blackness.

I kept staring.

Blackness. Darkeness. Blackness. ANGEL!!!!

And then it disappeared.

My heart was beating out of my chest as I peered over my sheets ... knowing that I was about to come face to face with a real live angel.  I peeked.  I peered.  Nothing.

Phew.

Now don't get me wrong.  I love angels and I am so very thankful for their presence ... it's just that I don't want to see one.  In bed.  At night.  In the dark.  I would never sleep again.

I looked back in the monitor.

Blackness. Darkness. Blackness. ANGEL!!!!

OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS SAKES ALIVE!!! 

I freaked again and kept staring at the possessed thing.  I noticed that every minute or so, the monitor would blink and that is when I would see the angel.  Then it hit me.

"HOW PRECIOUS! This is ANGEL Care Montior. When the screen refreshes they made the image of an angel appear.  That's so sweet!  And such a good idea!"

I just knew I had figured it out, so I pointed the monitor in another direction, snuggled down in my covers, watched and waited.

Blackness.  Darkness.  Blackness.  Darkness.

No angel.

Oh. My. Word.  IT WAS AN ANGEL!!!

I couldn't sleep that night.  I had a death grip on my covers and kept my eyes shut.  Tight.  It was a restless night.  I had come in human contact with an angel.

Kind of.

The next morning I woke up to use the restroom and with the sun shining through our curtains, something caught my attention.  That something was my bed post.  With my robe draped on it.  With the sleeves out to the side.

My angel was debunked.  My angel was my robe.  

I laughed at myself and kind of felt disappointed.  Now that it was daylight, I wished it was an angel.  I'm much more brave in the day.  

And I still think I should contact Angel Care and have them program an angel to show up as the screen refreshes.  Isn't that a great idea?

So that was heart attack number 1.

Heart attack number 2 happened last night as I rolled over to check on sweet Ezra and this was staring back at me:

photo

BAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I shot up out of that bed so fast you wouldn't believe it.  I latched on to Husby so hard he probably dreamed he was being squeezed by a python.  I was shaking, sweating, trying to scream but nothing would come out. I was downright petrified.

That's IT - my room is haunted and there is a freaky GHOST staring at me as I sleep. I was dead convinced. Angels - ghosts - this was all too much for me to handle.  

... 

Until I realized the monitor was pointed at MY FACE and my freaky self was the one staring me down.  I mean, really - if that's not the most terrifying thing you've ever seen in your life, I don't know what is!  I could be in a horror movie!! 

It's a wonder I am still alive.  It really and truly is.  

So, folks .... my consensus on the Angel Care monitor is this:  It could save your child's life, but take your own.

Purchase at your own risk.



19 comments:

  1. This post makes me very happy that my Angel Care monitor is the version without video!

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  2. Oh my goodness, Whitney, this is too funny. I totally understand - I would never look into a mirror in the dark. I'm much braver during the day too - LOL!

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  3. Oh my goodness....can't. stop. laughing! Sorry you got the snot scared out of you, but this was a great post!

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  4. Too funny! I am laughing so hard here at work. I would have thought the same thing. I was scared for you!

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  5. I just laughed sooo hard!! My children think I've lost it. I would have been terrified too!

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  6. My Angel Care monitor has been acting weird lately, too!! It randomly turns on/off and makes a weird white noise sound sporadically through the night... SO creepy!

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  7. That is too funny! You are a hilarious writer, I'm tellin' you!

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  8. I definitely would have freaked out too! So great!

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  9. I am in tears from laughing so hard. But I have to saw the "angel" in the picture looks a lot like Levi (ya know what I'm saying you and Levi look alike).

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  10. Dustin and I are literally crying laughing. In fact, I had a contraction, thought I might tinkle, and raced to the bathroom. You are a hoot.

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May the Lord bless you and keep you safe today! Thanks for the comment, friends! :)

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