Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Redheads Unite.

The intro paragraph has nothing to do with the point of the post ... but it was cute and it happened that day, so I had to share.

One day a couple of weeks ago, Levi and I had a day out with my Mom. On our way to meet her, we got pulled over by a policeman. I was going 73 in a 65, and he pulled me over for a "courtesy warning". Gee, how courteous. Levi sat quietly in the backseat throughout my entire conversation with the cop (he was a friendly, talkative little officer), and when he left, Levi said, "we got pulled over by a police officer ... I've got to tell Glam*Ma"! I laughed that the first thing he thought to do was tattle on his Mommy, but forgot about it as we kept on driving and singing at the top of our lungs. When we arrived to see Glam*Ma, she opened the door and he bursted through like a gust of wind and screamed, "MOMMY GOT PULLED OVER BY A POLICE OFFICER"! I can't get away with anything when this little dude is around.

We laughed for a bit and went on about our day. We did some lunching, shopping, snacking and more shopping well into the evening. We made our last stop at Hobby Lobby and it was well beyond dark at this point. When I was checking out, I noticed this red headed employee standing in the doorway. He seemed super friendly and every time I glanced his way, he smiled. Mom and Levi were standing near him, so I figured he was admiring Levi. That, or admiring my hair that was just a shade or two darker than his bright red. We redheads have an unspoken comradery, you know. We stick together.

Composing a mere 7% of the population, we feel a duty to band together as brother and sister. It's just what we do. It's part of our chemical makeup. Tucked inside our fiery strands of locks holds an intricate bond of allegiance to one another. We are fiercely drawn to protect and uphold one another. It's the redhead bond of unity.

It's just that he took the whole sticking together thing to a whole new level.

I grabbed my bags and walked toward Mom and Levi. As soon as we started walking, he soon followed. I stopped to look at something in the entryway, and he stopped too. Smiling. I said something to Mom and she laughed. He laughed, too. He was stuck to us like glue. I was so confused! We kept walking and I stopped again to see what would happen. Wouldn't you know - he stopped, too!! Smiling all the way. This was the happiest stalker I had ever met.

I made a quick glance at Mom out of the corner of my eye and she stopped with Levi and mouthed to me, "WAIT here". I just kind of looked at her like, "are we just going to stand here with him staring at a bird bath for 10 minutes and not go outside? We have to leave eventually!" (Yes, I said all of that with my eyes.) While we were having this little eye chat, he was standing right beside me. I couldn't help but laugh. The thought of a smiling red headed Hobby Lobby employee attacking us was quite comical at this point. I started walking outside with Mom and Levi following behind. But not him. He was right next to me. Grinning like it was his job. I looked at him and kind of laughed a nervous laugh like "what on earth are you doing here, buddy"? When the cool breeze hit and dark enveloped us, Mom sprinted up beside me like a bodyguard. She looked over at the jolly guy and he whispered something to her.

This was the weirdest HobLob experience I have ever had.

"There has been a man in our parking lot attacking women. I saw you and your daughter, and you looked like easy prey. I thought I would walk you to your car," he said - all with a smile on his face.

Ohhhh. So he wasn't a stalker! He was a superhero! Yay!

But wait a minute ... hey! Why do we look like easy prey? I think I was half grateful/half offended, here.

He continued on with creepy details of the scary attacker as he safely escorted us to our car. What a nice guy! We thanked him and he went back inside, seeming quite proud of his heroic duties, and we buckled Levi in the car seat. Mom peered behind the car and out of NOWHERE a man in a long jacket appeared and was headed toward us... fast. "GET IN THE CAR ... NOW!!!!", Mom screamed.

I jumped inside in a sheer panic as she stayed outside buckling Levi in. "GET IN THE CAR, MOM!!! I WILL BUCKLE HIM INSIDE!"

She high-tailed it in the car and I hit the lock button as fast as I could and we burned rubber getting the heck out of there. It was quite terrifying. I'm pretty sure we left him in the dust. Literally.

Now, was the man headed toward us the attacker? I don't know. He did look creepy, and he did come out of nowhere. But then again, Mom and I have pretty explosive imaginations, so we had him pegged as a serial killer immediately.

But I do know that something was going on because all of the employees were standing at the front of the store whispering to one another and peering outside. The funny thing is that there was woman after woman walking out ahead of and after us, alone with no escort at all. They all walked right past the red headed guy as he waited for me to checkout and stood close to Mom and Levi. His eyes were fixed on us like he was told to protect us and only us. But why? Why us?

Well, I think there is only one logical answer, here.

Our hair.

Redheads UNITE!

25 comments:

  1. Maybe the redhead was the stalker and the weird looking man was trying to save you! Haha! what a crazy shopping experience!

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  2. i would have been so creeped out! also...uhh....did he call levi your daughter?

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  3. My son is a redhead too... and I would say there is a secret bond!
    I enjoy following your blog. I have a 19 month old and I'm 2 months away from my due date with baby #2. It's fun to watch you go through this journey too.

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  4. I love how little ones hide nothing - adroable! :)

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  5. Oooh...that was so creepy. I'm glad you all stayed safe.

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  6. Wow, that is crazy!! So glad ya'll had a redheaded bodyguard watching out for you! That would have totally creeped me out.

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  7. Crazy! Part of me was thinking that the red head employee was working with the attacker and when he walked out with a woman that was a flag that said here are your targets. BUT then why would he say there was an attacker and get your guard up? I'm probably crazy, I'm sure he was a helpful guy!

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  8. That is creepy! I was shopping at a Hobby Lobby once and when I came out this weirdo appeared out of no where as I was putting stuff in the trunk and started asking for change I gave him a few coins that were in my pocket in hopes he would just leave but when I went to get in the car he was practically trying to get in my car with me to see if I had more change. I was so scared. I've never gone back to that Hobby Lobby, I drive to the other one in the next town!

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  9. I kept waiting for an "April Fools!" at the end of this crazy story, but it's January! What a crazy day!

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  10. I don't get why he wouldn't have told you before creeping you out by following you around! Glad it all worked out well, though!

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  11. You and your mom always have the craziest stories! I'm not sure you guys should be allowed out together. haha.

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  12. I'm so creeped out right now... This reminded me of that Dawson's Creek episode where Joey is staying late in the library!

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  13. That's so scary! Now I'm going to be super paranoid to shop at hobby lobby at night. Creepers!

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  14. That is so very VERY creepy. The saddest part is that now you are not allowed to ever go to Hobby Lobby again!

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  15. I think it was because you had a small child and would be detained at the car to buckle him up? I have a friend that that happened to once. Scary!!

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  16. Are you serious?!? I kept waiting for a just kidding at the end too. Yikers!

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  17. Oh this made me laugh. (I'm glad you three are safe and sound) but I could just visualize you and your mom in this situation.
    You two always have a "story" to tell.

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  18. Yikes! That is scary. When I was pregnant, I always had the weirdest things happen to me while I was out in public. Maybe I was more approachable? I don't know but I am glad you guys were okay!

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  19. Wow, that's pretty scary! Maybe he was a guardian angel! o:)

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  20. I’ve just awarded you the Versatile Blogger Award!
    http://jmarieslesarenko.blogspot.com/

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  21. How weird. I was sitting in the hospital reading this and I am sure people looked at me very oddly becaue I was laughing out loud. Glad you escaped!

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  22. Oh my goodness how creepy! Good thing you were with your mom instead of alone!

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  23. red heads are the best! glad ya'll are ok!

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May the Lord bless you and keep you safe today! Thanks for the comment, friends! :)

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