Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Crime Fighting.

Bless my Husby's heart. He's tired. Make that ... exhausted. When he gets home from work in the late evenings, he plays with Levi, eats supper and then usually falls asleep on the couch until I wake him up and make him go to bed. Five in the morning comes entirely too early for him, and the long hours well, ya know, saving people's lives adds up to an exhausting day! He's just drained in every sense of the word.

He is also a deep sleeper. I mean, his head hits the pillow and he's completely out of commission until his alarm goes off the next morning. I can scream, dance, and throw a party in front of his face and he won't move. He's just O.U.T.

So, with that little preface, let me tell you about our exciting night a couple of weeks ago.

Husby and I went to bed as usual and Weebie was across the house sleeping soundly in his room. Husby was snoring and I was lightly dozing off when the burglar alarm statred BLASTING and vibrating our house. I jumped on top of the bed in a panic and commenced to SCREAMING. Husby kept snoozing. I was jumping up and down and shaking Husby violently screaming, "GET UP THERE IS SOMEONE IN THE HOUSE!!!!" Snore. Snore. Snooze. Snooze. He would not get up.

"GET UP RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed as I finally awakened him from his deep slumber. He looked at me with a glazed over stare and just kind of sat there. "GO GET LEVI! GO GET HIM RIGHT NOW", I screamed as I tried shoving him out the door of our bedroom. Still completely unaware of what was happening (I think he was still asleep), he started running in circles. In the bedroom.

My plan was for him to go fight the burglar and grab Levi, while I jumped in the closet and climbed up to get our gun (we keep guns on top of our closet - out of sight and reach of Levi). Well, after Husby completed three laps around the room, he ran to the closet.

I threw my hands up in the air and said "forget it! I'm getting Levi!!!" and my big pregnant self took off sprinting across the house with my heart racing 90 to nothing, not knowing WHAT I was going to do if I came face to face with the intruder. The entire time I was running I was thinking about how I could hurt the bad guy. Would I jump on him? Punch him? Kick him? What was I going to do?! I didn't know - I just kept on running. And I was PETRIFIED. I flipped on Levi's light and he started to stir. Of course the LIGHT wakes him, but the deafening siren blaring in our house doesn't do a thing. What is WITH these boys?!

I grabbed my boy and ran back to our bedroom - heart pounding, mouth screaming. Husby was just coming out of the closet with the gun. Quick one, that Husby. I start screaming, "THEY COULD HAVE HAD LEVI BY NOW! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" and I lost all sense of reasoning as I yelled like a wild woman. I was out of control, guys. Completely out of control.

Clearly, no one was in the house and our alarm company called within a minute. They told us where the target area was and apparently it was our inside door that leads to the garage and the wind had pushed it open a bit. I finally breathed a sigh of relief and threw Levi in our bed - guarding him with all my might. I was petrified and I swear my heart didn't stop racing for a good couple of hours. Terrifying.

The next day I told Husby we needed a better plan since clearly he is incoherent in the dead of the night. I told him that HE needs to fight the bad guys while I grab the gun. But who knows if he'll remember that plan when it's actually happening. Let's face it - he won't. If it wasn't for me, he would have slept through the entire thing. He and Levi both!

So, I got to thinking about what I need to do to take matters into my own hands. Since I am farthest from the closet and need a step ladder to actually get the gun, wasting valuable time, I needed a weapon. Something to deter the intruder in the midst of the chaos. Something I could keep nearer to me. Something I could defend myself with as I run to save my babies. I needed this:

photo

A super cute, super girly, super pink MACE gun. Oh yes.

So I ordered it.

It came with a practice cartridge of water and oh my heavens ... girls, this thing is POWERFUL. So, my new plan is for me to grab my mace gun (it is hidden from Levi, but in a place easier accessible for ME), spray the bad guy down on my way to the babies rooms, while Husby gets the real gun down and follows behind me.

Perfect plan.

What is with us and all of the crime drama lately? I don't know, but I so know one thing - I'm not afraid anymore. Not with my Pink Lady at my side.

25 comments:

  1. Where did you find your mace gun? I need something like that in my apartment.
    And I'm glad it wasn't a real person breaking into your house. I think I might have a heart attack if something like that ever happened to me.

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  2. Ooh, I'm not for owning a gun personally, since I couldn't actually kill someone and I would be scared a burgler would steal it and sell it to criminals BUT that mace gun is SUCH A GOOD IDEA.

    I'm ordering one right now...

    Such a good idea!

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  3. That mace gun is sweet!!!!
    *i would not have pegged you to be a gun owner. What a surprise (that I love)!

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  4. Oh my goodness how scary. We have a gun safely stored but I'm terrified of them. I was just thinking last night about personal safety because my girls and I walked from my daughters school last night after curriculum night, and it was dark. We live in a safe neighborhood but still.

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  5. That mace gun is such a good idea. I'm going to have to order one of those. My husband is a deep sleeper like yours and I'm afraid he wouldn't be much help if something like that ever happened.

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  6. Wow... good for you being so brave and taking matters into your own hands! I'm such a wimp who knows what I would've done. Love the pink lady though!! Now I think I'll go mention that to my husband. =)

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  7. I am dying laughing! I can just picture you wild hands flying and husby just blank. Haha! Glad you guys are safe though!

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  8. The pink mace gun is fantastic. So glad it wasn't actually a burgler! I would have been furious with my husband...jealous he is such a deep sleeper :)

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  9. My heart was racing just reading this!! We have guns, too, up high so the nieces and nephews can't get them. I think if the burglar saw you coming screaming and waving your hands, he would have high tailed it outta there!! Good job!

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  10. oh goodness!! I'm so glad my husband doesn't sleep so soundly. if I hear even a TINY noise, I nudget the husband awake. I have also determined that if the dog isn't barking, I probably hallucinated the sound lol!
    The mace gun is a great idea! good for you =)

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  11. I can't believe they both slept through the alarm. Those things are loud! I'm glad you are armed now. :)

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  12. I kind of want that mace gun. For my purse.

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  13. I feel you on this one! One night my cousin and her husband were staying the night with us and didn't arrive until after we'd gone to bed... Pretty much the same story - Alarm going off, dog barking out of control, Cousin's husband frantically trying to make the dog be quiet, me jumping out of bed and Brandon still out smooth!! Didn't even move! What are we going to do with our exhausted men?!

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  14. Hi, you don't know me but I enjoy reading your blog. Just wanted to let people know that mace is illegal in some states, so check into that before ordering anything! Same goes for pepper spray.

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  15. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Thankfully no one was in your home and you were all safe. We had a similar story (http://loveissomethingthatwedo.blogspot.com/2011/03/going-dark.html) and to this day I am paranoid and an extremely light sleeper. Glad you guys are ok!

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  16. A can of wasp spray is an excellent substitute as well. It can spray 30ft with excellent accuracy and it is easily obtainable and just as disabling if not more than mace/pepper spray. Not quite as cute looking though as a pink mace gun. :)

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  17. Love the mace gun! My Hubsy has been talking about ordering me one. He's too afraid for me to have a gun because he doesn't want me to be overpowered and it used against me, but he's all for mace.

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  18. So smart. I carry hot pink pepper spray in my purse at all times (hello- I live in Atlanta!) and a mace gun would be awesome for home. Where did you get yours? I love it!

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  19. I had a similar experience, just not quite as dramatic. I heard a loud noise so I shook my husband and told him that he needed to check it. He woke up (sort of), flipped over, threw an arm in my general direction, said "Don't worry, I'll protect you", and went back to sleep. Aargh. I moved the gun closer to my side of the bed the very next day.

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  20. Oh my!!!! I hadn't heard that story and I literally laughed out loud! I can just picture Darin running circles, not even totally awake yet. Poor guy. Glad you have a new plan that might actually work. ;-)

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  21. Oh, and he must take after his dad. Have I told you those stories? Me and my sis screaming from the bathroom as a guy is breaking into our house while Curt is putting on his clothes???? Or when the tornado sirens went off, all the neighbors were heading to a nearby shelter, and I waited outside for him with the dog for 10 minutes ... while he BRUSHED HIS TEETH!!!!

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  22. oh my! that's so cute! AND I am so glad that the alarm was a false one!!

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  23. Great idea! I guess it is our society these days....but I also think about what we would do if someone broke into our house. And my husband is about like your's...nothing can wake my man up! I would definitely feel safer with some sort of weapon in arms reach!
    Glad y'all were ok and there was no real danger!

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  24. Oh my word, you are hilarious!! I laughed all the way through this post! Glad it was only a false alarm!!

    I've definitely gotta get one of those mace guns. Super cool!

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  25. yes please tell us where you ordered that so I can get one too!!!

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May the Lord bless you and keep you safe today! Thanks for the comment, friends! :)

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