Bless my Husby's heart. He's tired. Make that ... exhausted. When he gets home from work in the late evenings, he plays with Levi, eats supper and then usually falls asleep on the couch until I wake him up and make him go to bed. Five in the morning comes entirely too early for him, and the long hours well, ya know, saving people's lives adds up to an exhausting day! He's just drained in every sense of the word.
He is also a deep sleeper. I mean, his head hits the pillow and he's completely out of commission until his alarm goes off the next morning. I can scream, dance, and throw a party in front of his face and he won't move. He's just O.U.T.
So, with that little preface, let me tell you about our exciting night a couple of weeks ago.
Husby and I went to bed as usual and Weebie was across the house sleeping soundly in his room. Husby was snoring and I was lightly dozing off when the burglar alarm statred BLASTING and vibrating our house. I jumped on top of the bed in a panic and commenced to SCREAMING. Husby kept snoozing. I was jumping up and down and shaking Husby violently screaming, "GET UP THERE IS SOMEONE IN THE HOUSE!!!!" Snore. Snore. Snooze. Snooze. He would not get up.
"GET UP RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed as I finally awakened him from his deep slumber. He looked at me with a glazed over stare and just kind of sat there. "GO GET LEVI! GO GET HIM RIGHT NOW", I screamed as I tried shoving him out the door of our bedroom. Still completely unaware of what was happening (I think he was still asleep), he started running in circles. In the bedroom.
My plan was for him to go fight the burglar and grab Levi, while I jumped in the closet and climbed up to get our gun (we keep guns on top of our closet - out of sight and reach of Levi). Well, after Husby completed three laps around the room, he ran to the closet.
I threw my hands up in the air and said "forget it! I'm getting Levi!!!" and my big pregnant self took off sprinting across the house with my heart racing 90 to nothing, not knowing WHAT I was going to do if I came face to face with the intruder. The entire time I was running I was thinking about how I could hurt the bad guy. Would I jump on him? Punch him? Kick him? What was I going to do?! I didn't know - I just kept on running. And I was PETRIFIED. I flipped on Levi's light and he started to stir. Of course the LIGHT wakes him, but the deafening siren blaring in our house doesn't do a thing. What is WITH these boys?!
I grabbed my boy and ran back to our bedroom - heart pounding, mouth screaming. Husby was just coming out of the closet with the gun. Quick one, that Husby. I start screaming, "THEY COULD HAVE HAD LEVI BY NOW! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" and I lost all sense of reasoning as I yelled like a wild woman. I was out of control, guys. Completely out of control.
Clearly, no one was in the house and our alarm company called within a minute. They told us where the target area was and apparently it was our inside door that leads to the garage and the wind had pushed it open a bit. I finally breathed a sigh of relief and threw Levi in our bed - guarding him with all my might. I was petrified and I swear my heart didn't stop racing for a good couple of hours. Terrifying.
The next day I told Husby we needed a better plan since clearly he is incoherent in the dead of the night. I told him that HE needs to fight the bad guys while I grab the gun. But who knows if he'll remember that plan when it's actually happening. Let's face it - he won't. If it wasn't for me, he would have slept through the entire thing. He and Levi both!
So, I got to thinking about what I need to do to take matters into my own hands. Since I am farthest from the closet and need a step ladder to actually get the gun, wasting valuable time, I needed a weapon. Something to deter the intruder in the midst of the chaos. Something I could keep nearer to me. Something I could defend myself with as I run to save my babies. I needed this:
A super cute, super girly, super pink MACE gun. Oh yes.
So I ordered it.
It came with a practice cartridge of water and oh my heavens ... girls, this thing is POWERFUL. So, my new plan is for me to grab my mace gun (it is hidden from Levi, but in a place easier accessible for ME), spray the bad guy down on my way to the babies rooms, while Husby gets the real gun down and follows behind me.
What is with us and all of the crime drama lately? I don't know, but I so know one thing - I'm not afraid anymore. Not with my Pink Lady at my side.