Thursday, November 10, 2011

How Much Fonder Can My Heart Grow?

Every marriage and family has their share of sacrifices, and each of those sacrifices looks different for each relationship. For some it may be financial, putting careers on hold, time constraints, giving up self wants, and the list goes on and on. For each season of life, new sacrifices and changes come into play and rather than looking on them as something detrimental and world altering, I think it's important to work through them together as best as you can and strive for excellence in maintaining a positive attitude. It's vital in getting through those times.

Husby and I would rather be together than with anyone else. It's always been that way. We hate being apart and when we do have to be apart, we spend most of the time longing for the time we can get back home to our little family. Life just doesn't feel right when we're not all together. That being said, with him being a Medical Resident now and for the next 2 years, we don't always get to see one another regularly.

For the past two weeks, he has been on the night shift which means that he gets home when we wake up and then he goes to bed. When he wakes up, he grabs a bite to eat, gets a shower and heads back out to work. I usually get to see him for 2 hours (sometimes more or less), and Levi is often in a nap, so sometimes he goes a whole day without seeing him. It's been a yucky and difficult couple of weeks, to say the least. And lonely. Did I mention lonely? (What would I do without my Levi?) I know it could be worse and I know that some of you live this type of schedule day in and day out. (Bless you, women.) I am just grateful it's for a couple of weeks here and there, but also I don't discredit what we are going through at all ... because it's hard. And just plain ole not fun. And there is a month ahead of us (when we have a brand new 1 month old newborn), when he has an entire month of this schedule. As daunting as that month that looms ahead of us seems now, I know without a doubt that we can do it. With excellence. Because that is what we ask God for in our marriage relationship, every single day.

I know that our lives right now can't be fully understood by anyone who hasn't done the same thing before, or something similar dealing with time apart. And believe me, I don't think anyone who hasn't done this CAN understand. And sometimes I want to scream something from a mountain top when we don't feel "understood", but then I realize that's the way life goes and I shouldn't expect everyone to relate. How can they if they don't live it? Just like I can't understand the next couple's sacrifices, not everyone can understand ours. This is our special situation and this is something that only we can understand with one another. This is our day in and day out and when we come out of it, just like we did with Medical School (NOBODY cheered louder than me at his Med School graduation), we can look at each other and say, "Hey, WE did this TOGETHER." With the hand of God on us every single day.

The Lord has been so very gracious to us in these past 6 years. SO GRACIOUS. And He continues to prove faithful. He called Husby into the medical field at a young age, and we know that as long as we are living His will, He will continue to guide and bless us. And he most certainly has. He has also given us some wise mentors/prayer warriors who have encouraged us greatly along the way. For those people I am forever grateful.

Now on to the point of the post! I got off on a little rant, but hey, I will enjoy going back on this years from now and reading my thoughts and remembering the truth of our lives right now. It's heavy on my mind right now since these past couple of weeks have been so non-ideal. So yay for blatant honesty.

But anyway!

Making best of your situation! (The original point of this post!)

The other night, Levi and I were just so "Husby sick", that we picked up a picnic dinner (Ah - hmm, Chick-Fil-A), and brought it to the hospital and hung out with Husby/Daddy in his call room! It MADE his NIGHT. And, it made ours!!!!

Levi was so very excited to "go to work with Daddy" - and that's all he talked about the whole way there and then the whole rest of the night. He was on cloud 9. It was just the sweetest thing.

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Sure, it wasn't the most ideal local for a nice family dinner, but it was awesome. We got to be TOGETHER, and that is all that mattered. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to see your Husby, and if it's in the hospital, then so be it - it's totally worth it.

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We plan on doing this as regularly as we can when he has this schedule, but it's tricky to time it just right. Husby got three new admits while we were there, so we had to cut the "date" short and let him get back to work. But that time we did have together was precious. And you would have thought Levi was at Disney Land. :)

His Daddy is most certainly his hero.

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And you know what? He's mine, too.

28 comments:

  1. Aww.thanks for sharing. And yes, your heart will grow fonder for you entire family...pets included through the years. It's all about capturing those Chicfila Punic moments.

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  2. I am in the same situation with my husband. He is a first year ENT resident and we just had our first child 2 months ago. We do the same thing. I meet up with him in the call room or cafeteria with our dinner for the night just so that we can be together. Actually I find these are great memories to have in the future.

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  3. I totally get it...my hubs is in his last year as a podiatry student and has spent entire months out of state doing rotations, leaving me home alone with our baby. He's on his last month being far away right now and I am just trying to speed up time! It is so hard but helps to know other people are in similar situations...

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  4. Awww, it is all about making it work for you guys! My husband is a baseball player so we end up going 2-3 weeks between visits sometimes! It can be tricky but we make it work! For us, skype is so key to the distance!

    I love that you were able to do a picnic at the hospital! You are making great memories with your little guy!

    And that month after your new one is born? You will be just fine! God knows you are strong enough for this!

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  5. I know what you mean! My husband works in TV, so the first year of our marriage (when he was the lowest on the totum pole, lol) he had to work 4PM-2 or 3AM. That's when I taught our cat how to play "hide and seek." :)

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  6. Such a sweet post! You have to treasure all the time you get with the people you love. Whether it is 5 hours or 5 mins! Your family is so cute and I love reading your blog.

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  7. This is so sweet, I love this. Well said, girl!

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  8. Oh I just love this! You're always so positive and manage to see the good in any situation...that's a tough thing to do:)

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  9. Yep, you do what you have to do. It's hard but you get through it and it gives you a much better sense of purpose and what's really important. My husband is in sales and travels about 50% of the time, times when he wasn't we were trooping over at least once a week to have "family dinner" at his office...our kids were the mascots for the place, lol!

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  10. So appreciative of yalls sacrifice so that your husband can help others. It's so wonderful that your little family desires to serve God above all else and your husband is working for the glory of God, not himself ( like so many doctors out there). I often pray for military families. You've opened my eyes to see I need to pray also for families in yalls situation!
    You're so right, with Gods help you'll do fine that first month. Oh and help from grandmas and big brothers!

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  11. Oh sweet girl, I feel ya! These are going to be some rough years and I know there will be plenty of good times as well, sometimes it can be hard to see that. Nights are absolutely awful. If he is working Friday night you should come over! We are having a mini scentsy party with Megan and my mom and sister will be there. Mason would love playing with Levi.

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  12. I seriously teared up reading this...so sweet!!!

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  13. I love this! My husband is a 4th year medical student and it's been so hard just dealing with out of town rotations..I know next year will bring a new set of challenges. I totally agree that I feel so blessed to have my son here with me. Thank you for sharing how y'all make it work during residency! :)

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  14. You will get through and you will be stronger because of it.
    My significant other is in the Army and stationed in Monterey,CA. I haven't seen him in 5 months, but absence truly makes the heart grow fonder, I promise.

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  15. Oh goodness, do I feel your pain! Brandon and I have only been married 2 months next week and this was our first time to deal with the dreaded night shifts at the hospital. We are so thankful it's only one week!! I can completely relate to your fight to stay positive... sometimes it feels like an uphill battle! When he is on nights our work schedules line up where we miss each other by 15 minutes - he gets to the house 15 minutes after I leave and he leaves 15 minutes before I get home. Not fun. But we have decided that this is going to be a week where we are going to just resort back to our dating days - He left me a sweet note that I found when I got home, I surprised him with a quick visit to the hospital and a bag full of Monsters and so on. Even though we'd rather have face to face time, you do what you have to do to show your spouse love! Thanks for the wonderful post!!

    www.frillylittledetails.blogspot.com

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  16. I hear you 100%! My husband is an anesthesia resident. I agree with everything you said especially about it being so lonely sometimes. We have three little ones, so I am definitely busy but it's not the same as having your husband there regularly. Surprisingly what I have found to be the hardest lately is that my husband has only been able to attend two of my twins' soccer games this season. I know that doesn't seem like a huge deal. But so many Saturday mornings I am holding back tears as I dress two boys and load up the baby to go sit with all the other families. It is harder for me than when my husband worked nights the first month the baby was born. So I feel for you there. I agree that most people don't understand what sacrifices the family makes for medical students/doctors. But you're also right that everyone has their own sacrifices and hardships. Thanks for this post. It made me feel not alone! And the chick fil a picnic was very sweet.

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  17. I totally understand what you are going through. My husband has worked every shift possible and his schedule is never the same. So, we take the time we can get and treasure it. We are both the type that would rather stay home and spend time together instead of constantly being out and about anyways. You just learn to adjust and adapt and deal with it the best you can. The Lord gets us through these times!

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  18. This just makes me smile - thanks for sharing! My Mom always made sure she and my brothers were at the door to greet my Dad when he came home from work because she knew how special it made him feel and now I do the same thing with my husband and can't wait for when we have a kiddo to join me in it! :-)

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  19. I hear you! My husband is getting his MBA right now, and isn't home until past 10 2-3 weeknights a week. It gets so lonely! I don't think non-married or non-family people realize how hard it can be to get quality time together even though you all live in the same house. Bravo for your Chickfila!

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  20. So sweet. Whenever I can get away, I love to head to my husbands office and share coffee for a few minutes during lunch break. :) Any time I can squeeze for just the two of us, I will take! :)

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  21. First of all, I totally agree with you that we all make different sacrifices and we CANNOT judge others because we don't know how it is in their shoes. I admire your family so much for what you endure to get your husband to reach his goal. Second of all, that is such a great idea for you and Levi to go visit him. Not only does it brighten the evening for you and the little man but I'm sure it the brightest spot in your husband's night as well!! You're such a cute wifey!

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  22. I feel you! My husband is a police officer. He does day shift for a month, night shift the next month, etc. Night shift is the WORST, but somehow I manage to make it through. I don't even have an adorable little one to keep me occupied, but I teach all day and I'm in grad school, so I stay pretty busy. :)

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  24. Love your positive attitude! I can't say that I know what you're going through but I do feel for you!! It would be so hard for me to handle! You're a strong woman/wife/mom, with an even stronger GOD. =) Hang in there. I'll be praying for you.

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  25. Right there with you. We go through the same crazy schedules every so often w/ my husband being a medical resident as well.

    A friend of mine (whose husband is also a medical resident) made the comment during her husband's intern year that she was determined that their marriage would be stronger after that year in spite of all the time apart. I think of that often, and it's my vow too. We will do what it takes to maintain our relationship!!

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  26. Can totally relate. My husband is a first year emergency medicine resident and he just started a stretch of working 6 nights in a row tonight. :( Blah. It is so much harder for him to be away now that we have a baby (almost 7 weeks old). I feel bad for myself but also SO bad for hubby when he has to leave because I know he just hates leaving us. It's tough. Just like you, we LOVE being together. It's rough, but we just keep telling ourselves that it WILL GET BETTER! :)

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  27. I would totally encourage you to try to do this as often as you can when your husband has the night shift. Even though it might be a pain to get out of the house and then worry about bathtime and bedtime for your son your time there will be worthwhile! Do they have a microwave there? Save money and pack up a dinner you can reheat when you get there. Then your hubby might start asking you what's for dinner even though he won't technically be at home at night!

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May the Lord bless you and keep you safe today! Thanks for the comment, friends! :)

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