Thursday, September 15, 2011

The Crazy Lady With The Metal Spoon.

You guys. The weather is absolutely amazing over here. It's cool, it's crisp, and it's just downright perfection. I have been opening my windows and doors to kind of "air out" the house from the smothering days of summer. There is nothing better than fresh air blowing through the house and recirculating the air. The summer staleness is GONE, friends, and my home is thanking for me for it. Yay!

The other night, I was in the kitchen cooking supper waiting for Husby to get home. Levi was hopping around like a frog, burning off some two-year-old-boy-energy and screaming, "let's go outside, Mommy - PLEEEEEEEASE!", over and over and over again. I explained to him that I was busy cooking, but he didn't let up. He hopped and he begged for HOURS. Okay, maybe it was just 10 minutes, but my ears believe otherwise.

Our backdoor that leads to the backyard just so happens to be in our kitchen, so I opened that bad boy up and told him to go play. We have a fence that encloses our backyard, but we do not have a fence on the sides of the house to completely close it off from the front yard. I always hesitate about letting him play without me out there at all times, because I never know where he'll wander off to. OR - who might meander back there and grab my precious angel and head for the hills.

I'm morbid, but you gotta be morbid to protect your babies. Right?

Anyway, back to the story. Levi was begging to play in his sandbox, so he built castles as I browned my meat nearby. I stopped what I was doing literally every minute or so to pop my head out and make sure he was still there. When I wasn't popping my head out, I was talking to him to make sure he stayed where he was supposed to.

My meat was finally browed, and I gave it a quick stir with my large metal spoon and stepped outside to check on Weebie.

Um. He was gone.

"LEVI?" I said.

No response.

"LEVI!!!!!!!!" I screamed.

No answer.

My eyes darted all around the backyard at lightening speed checking every little crevice. He wasn't at the sandbox. Not on the trampoline. Not under the trampoline. Not in his fort. Not under his fort. Not on his slide. Not under his slide. In approximately .02 seconds, I was off.

I sprinted like Jackie Joyner Kersee on the side of the house screaming his name and flailing my arms about - giant metal spoon in hand. We had been running errands earlier that day and when we got home, I took off my clothes and threw on a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt. A Minnie Mouse sweatshirt, no less. I was lookin' h-o-t.

I rounded the corner with Minnie and my spoon at my side, stopped dead in my tracks and scanned the yard. Screaming. I never stopped screaming. My spoon never stopped waving. My sweats never stopped sagging.

He wasn't there.

My. Heart. Stopped.

I Jackie Joyner'ed it across the front yard in a cold sweat, heart racing, stomach churning ... and let out one giant yell, "LEVI!!!!!!!" as I peered around the other side of the house - praying with all I had that he was there.

And wouldn't you know, there he stood. He stopped and stared at me as he held the big yellow sprinkler in his hands. He was looking at me like I'd completely lost my mind and he said ever so calm and collectively, "what, Mommy?"

I threw my spoon, hiked up my sweats and tackled him to the ground hugging him and trying to stop shaking. I instructed him to NEVER leave the backyard without Mommy and he looked me right in they eyes and said, "okay, Mommy", and laid his head on my shoulder and gave me the biggest hug.

My precious little baby. How he rips my guts out and scares me to smithereens.

When we got back to the sandbox and my heart rate went back to normal speed, I replayed the scenario in my mind. I can not imagine what it looked like to anyone who may have witnessed the scene. If you are my neighbor and you saw a flash of pink and metal flying through your yard earlier this week, I offer my sincerest apologies. I promise I'm not a fruitcake.

I am normal.

I think.

But then again, I was wearing a Minnie Mouse sweatshirt.

And Husby, if supper had any bits of grass in it last night ... blame the spoon.

18 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness, you poor thing! My heart got to racing just reading your story! I would have pooped my pants. I'm glad he didn't wander too far and ended up being safe!

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  2. Oh my! That's got to be scary! Gotta love toddlers though :-)

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  3. LOLOLOL! I am laughing so hard, I am in tears.

    Holy crap...that was good stuff.

    LOL!!!!

    Can totally relate.

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  4. Oh my goodness! I don't even have kids yet and my heart was racing for you! Yeesh! It's so scary to think that you can be doing everything right and crazy things still happen! Praise God that he's ok! He sounds like a very responsible toddler! And you're an amazing mother, by the way!

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  5. Oh, how scary! I am glad he was safe!

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  6. Hahaha, only laughing as I read cause I was sure of a happy ending. :) and thank you Jesus it was a happy one! Stories like these make me want to blog so I can look back at these moments that might otherwise be forgotten. Umm, it also makes me wish I was a better writer! ( like you)

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  7. Lord have mercy! I know the drill, except it is with TWO! Never commented before, but LOVE your blog!
    Keep browning that meat and waving that spoon with the SWEATS!!! HA!
    XXOO from Texas!
    lisa

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  8. One time his Aunt Casey hid under the clothes rack in a store at the mall. I freaked out! I was screaming her name, crying, and called for security. The gates came down over the doors leading to the mall, the employees all came running, and we searched and searched the store. Complete strangers were helping search. In my mind she had already been kidnapped and changed into a boy in one of the dressing rooms. I was frantic and hysterical. All of a sudden, Casey popped out from under that rack and said, "Surprise! Here I am, mommy!" I don't know if I was more relieved, irritated, or embarrassed. These "kids"!!!!! By the way, I hope Levi NEVER does that again!!!!

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  9. That is the scariest feeling! I think it's time to close the gaps on that fence, it might cost a little money but think of the peace of mind it would buy! And soon there will be two, twice the reason to send little Levi out to play (where you shouldn't have to worry!) I love our backyard, it should be the haven it is intended to be, not a source of distress. :)

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  10. Ack, I would have done the same thing! You're not crazier than any other mom when it comes to protecting their babies. :)

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  11. Best sentence of your post = the last sentence! Glad he is ok.

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  12. Oh wow, that was so scary, my heart was in my mouth! When my son was little we were in the shops and he was connected to me by a wrist strap. I was flicking through the magazines on the racks. Unbeknown to me, he undid his wrist strap and walked out of the shop! It was terrifying, so I know how you feel. Luckily I realised pretty soon and ran out after him, but it was so scary. You need eyes everywhere with little ones, don't you?

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  13. What a scary feeling!

    I remember once when my sister and her family were over, my niece took it upon herself to hide and not tell anyone. I'm telling you, the five minutes we spent screaming her name and running around looking for her were probably the scariest of my life!

    I'm glad he didn't wander off too far!

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  14. We've all been there girl!

    After the birth of my second child was when I started begging DH to PLEASE INSTALL A FENCE IN THE BACKYARD so that my oldest could play safely while I nursed, ran inside for a diaper, or just wanted to start dinner without dragging everyone inside. He agreed and it was the best. thing. ever. So much more peace of mind. With one I could follow her everywhere but with two, you are constantly pulled in so many directions.

    Sounds like a great winter project :)

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  15. What a scare! I'm thinking you need to ask Santa for the additional side fences for Christmas. With two little ones you are going to need the security of being able to let them play without having to worry about them getting to the front yard. Have a great weekend!

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  16. Oh wow, that pounding of your heart and frantic feel is so terrible. So glad your sweet boy was safe.

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  17. Oh my how I hate that feeling! I am morbid too. ALthough I freak out at the thought of a bear coming out of the trees and dragging one of my kiddos off. We live in the country. I don't think there are any bears...but you never know. I hate having those thoughts!

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  18. The be-Jesus would totally have been scared out of me, too. I get totally freaked out when I can't find my 15 month old in my own house. Funny how sometimes they make your ears hurt and then other times they can be the absolute quietest things in the universe, huh?

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May the Lord bless you and keep you safe today! Thanks for the comment, friends! :)

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