Wednesday, September 16, 2009

How Do You Say I Love You?

My family is a very loving and affectionate family. It stems from my Mom's side - when you are at a family get-together, you can not simply walk past someone without them patting you, rubbing you, hugging you or kissing you. When you arrive, you hug and kiss everyone. When you leave, you hug and kiss everyone. And you tell them you love them.

That's just how it is.

I grew up with the same affection in my immediate family with my Dad, Mom and Brother. We hugged and kissed when we woke up, we hugged and kissed and said "Love ya!" when we left to go somewhere, we hugged and kissed when we got home, and we hugged and kissed and said "Love ya!" before we went to bed. There are just hugs and kisses all over the place with us! And always, always, always we end our phone conversations with each other with "Bye, Love ya!" Every time. No matter if we are going to see each other in 2 minutes.

I thought this was completely normal. I thought EVERY family hugged and kissed and told each other they love each other. As I grew older, I saw that this was not true. Most of my friends families were like us - hugging, kissing, love ya, the whole bit, but there were others who didn't. I couldn't understand it. It was just so foreign to me.

Sometimes, I would leave to go somewhere with a friend and as we'd leave their house they would scream, "bye" to their parents and shoot out the door without looking back.

Wait. Hold up. There's a whole ritual they left out. How could they leave without the hugs, the kisses, the love ya's?!?! I guess that's just how they roll.

But it was weird to me. So very weird.

I am 26 years old and my brother is 29. We still hug our parents, kiss our parents and tell them we love them. We even still do that with each other! I hope to instill this affection and love into Levi and our other future child(ren), because I love it. I love that we always know there will always be those hugs, kisses and love ya's when we all congregate together.

Husby is extremely affectionate with me and Levi. He always greets me with a kiss, he always has a hand on my leg or around my shoulder, and is always kissing and hugging our Levi. He is so loving towards us. But something that has always stood out with him is how he says I love you.

To me.

It's never "love ya" with him.

It's never "love you".

It has always been and I hope always will be, "I Love You."

I never noticed how special this was until someone pointed it out to me one time. We were leaving each other and Husby kissed me and said, "I love you". It was then that someone said, "I love how he always tells you "I love you", not "love ya". It's just so sweet."

I had never appreciated it fully until that day. I guess I never noticed it was special because that was how he had always said it to me. I know that for some people it's hard to say those three little worlds, but I am just so thankful that he chooses to say them to me each and every time.

How do you say I love you?

21 comments:

  1. Love the new layout.

    My family is very loving and affectionate as well. I still hug, kiss, and say "Love you." to my parents and siblings - all the time.

    Hubs on the other hand...his family isn't quite as affectionate, but they're close....

    But then hubs... not quite as affectionate as I'd like, but he always says "Love You Bye" LOL It's our saying :)

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  2. I'm with ya...hugs & kisses all around! Apparently when I was about 2, someone at church asked, "Are you a hugger?" I grinned, and nodded and said, "I'm a tisser too!"
    If my hubby is in a different room, he'll randomly yell, "Wife! I love you!" The big sweetie.

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  3. Nathan and I are "I love you, babe." people. I must say I love YOU is better than love YA. :o)

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  4. my family is the same way. hugs, kisses, and i love you's everywhere. usually on the phone with a family member, it's usually bye love ya bye! haha.

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  5. That is exactly how my family is and I never thought anything of it until meeting my husbands family. My family immediately began this ritual with my husband and he kind of freaked out...he didn't understand all the hugging, etc. He has slowly warmed up to it and is slowly being this way with our daughter. I love it!

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  6. mark and I say "I love you", and my family says love you. But we don't always say it every time we hang up the phone... I think we show love in ways other than saying it.... my love language is quality time so I always feel loved when my family spends time with me. I would feel more "loved" when my family spends time with me than if they were to say it. And usually the spending quality time comes with a verbal "I love you".

    I think all ways are great as long as love is being consistently shown! (-:

    ~Kathryn

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  7. You know, I've never thought much about it before but if I had to put my family in one camp, we'd be the non-affectionate camp. Which is so weird to me because I know how much we all love each other. We just aren't very touchy-feely. And I never noticed how little we actually said the words, "I love you" or some version of them, until I married Chris. His family is an "I love you" family and I always thought it was weird when I'd get off the phone with his mom and she'd say, "I love you!" I guess in my family, we just sort of assumed the love part.

    I'm surprised to find how affectionate I am with Beanie actually. I had worried I might not be loving enough since I'm not a very emotional person, but with him it just pours out of me.

    I kind of like it!

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  8. my family is the exact same way!! i love that about my family :)

    my fiance is not that affectionate of a guy but when he is in a huggy snuggly mood i soak it all up ;) we almost always say i love you sometimes it's just love you but that's rare. "love ya" would hurt my feelings, ha!

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  9. Very sweet. It sounds like you and your husband are really blessed by each other :)

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  10. My hubby is super affectionate as well...I always knew I needed that in a husband because my family wasn't super affectionate growing up...we loved each other and were supportive, but just not affectionate.

    My husband and I started saying these cheesy lines to eachother when we started seriously dating. He'd say, "I Lushz you" or "I bushz you" Even now, if we've had a tiff and are looking to reconcile, I'll ask him "do you still bushz me?" And it always gets us giggling...he always says, "I'll always bushz you, buttface." Oh yeah, Buttface is a term of endearment in my house :)

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  11. My family on both my mom's and dad's side are the same way - VERY loving, affectionate, etc. and we too can never walk past someone coming or going without the hug, kiss and love you's etc. - like you said - it's just the way we roll. I am not sure that my husband's family was quite as loving before I came along - I think I converted them though - LOL My husband also is a very affectionate and loving, generous man to me and our 2 children - it sure makes it easier to go home each night knowing that he's there waiting for me! :o)

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  12. Yep, we're affectionate, too. Brian's family isn't as much. But, Brian knows that he better always greet me with a kiss and hug, and I want a kiss goodnight, too.

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  13. Whenever my husband and I leave the house without each other, we ALWAYS walk each other to the door, give each other a kiss and say I love you. Everytime. Some people think it's strange, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

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  14. Now that I read this post, I realize that I've got a pretty affectionate husband, too! Kind of took that for granted, I guess. He does the same thing: lots of "I love you's" whether in our daily emails or text or in person. So nice to hear, and nice to return.

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  15. If I'm saying it to friends, "Love ya!" To family, "Love you!" If it's to Heath, "I love you!" Both of us say, "I love you or love you."

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  16. I can hear you saying "love ya!" right now. I have heard it so many times when you are on the phone and walking back into the office after lunch. Ty and I say "I love you" and if I'm feeling lazy its "love you". haha! With my parents, siblings, etc it's always "love you". And with friends it's "I love yooooouuuu". We all say it in the same tone/voice. Great post!

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  17. Me and my family were the same way and I found t so weird when Big Man didnt do it with his fam! :)

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  18. We are the same way in my family=)! And if we talk on the phone and got cut off before we could say goodbye, we have to call back just to say love you! or if we say I love you and then talk some more, we always end the conversation with I love you=) and if one of us is leaving and already gave hugs and kisses, by the time we get around to everyone forgot if we said goodbye to someone, we have to give another hug and kiss, just in case=) I love it!

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May the Lord bless you and keep you safe today! Thanks for the comment, friends! :)

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