My In-Laws were moving out of their house several years ago and Husby and I drove down to help them. A nice, quiet spirited middle-aged woman, who was helping take care of Husby’s grandfather, was there helping out as well. My Mother-In-Law instructed me and the woman to go outside and vacuum all the mattresses.
I was bewildered as to how we were going to vacuum the mattresses because I had never done such a thing, but the nice woman came up with a brilliant idea. She was going to hold the mattresses up while I took the long hose nozzle and go up and down the mattresses with it. That made much more sense than what I had envisioned - mattress on the ground, vacuum on top. The entire time we were out there, I was wondering why were vacuuming mattresses. Does everyone do this? If so, my mattresses are in dire need of a good vacuuming.
We successfully vacuumed two and were on our last one. The hose was extremely powerful. Once I got it near the mattress, it sucked on there so forcefully that I had to pull really hard to get it off. It was beginning to become pretty labor intensive!
The hose seemed to be jammed or something so I pulled it off the mattress and held it out in front of me. I peered inside and it seemed to be free of any clogging. I waved the hose around and said to the woman, “I don’t know what’s wrong with this thing”. Just as I spoke, it was as if the hose leapt from my hands and onto the woman’s left ... boob.
I gasped! She gasped! I screamed! She screamed!
I was still holding the hose as we stood there screaming and I didn’t know what to do. I started yelling, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” – but it was still stuck on there! I didn't know if I should pull or what! Since that suction was so powerful, I didn't want to maim her! So I just stood there holding the hose that was stuck to her boob. Screaming.
After what felt like an eternity, she hit the power button on the vacuum and the hose fell off. PHEW! She's a quicker thinker than I, that woman.
We stood there in silence, not really knowing what to say. I just apologized profusely and tried to restrain my giggles. The whole thing was just lunacy! And of course, it happened to me.
We still had to finish the mattress but I was laughing so hard and was so humiliated as to what I had just done that I had to go inside. I walked in, fell on the floor and it took me 10 minutes to explain to everyone what had just happened. I could not face her again. I had violated her with a vacuum.
I hid in a bedroom until she left to go home. I was too ashamed to face her.
Bless that dear woman's heart. I should not be let out of the house, you guys. For real.
Link up! :)