Monday, July 23, 2012

Embarrassing Moments Week - Day 1.

I was laying in bed the other night and I started thinking of embarrassing moments that I've experienced and started laughing so hard I thought I was going to have to get up and leave the room.  Don't you just cringe when you sit and think about these things?  It's like I get embarrassed all over again and just pray no one else remembers.

I've had my fair share of embarrassing moments and some of them I've shared here on the blog.  But, it was a long time ago and so I thought I'd re-tell some stories and share some new ones.  So, why not make a whole week out of it?

If you want to play along with me (Come on! Let's all be humiliated together!), feel free to link up at the bottom!

***

I was a freshman in high school and another friend and I were staying over at my best friends house for the night.  It was a Saturday and we were going to her church the next morning.  We went to different churches, so it was going to be my first time visiting hers and I was very excited.  This was smack dab in the midst of our Hanson obsession, so the three of us sang MMMBop a cappella all night long and boasted of our harmonization skills.  We thought we were IT. (We really were good with that song - we had it down pat!)

Sunday morning when we were getting ready to go, her mom came in and asked the three of us if we wanted to sing a special at church that morning, since she had been inundated with our voices all night long.

TIME OUT.

I had never in my life sang anything in front of the church without a choir surrounding me.  The thought of all eyes on me, only two other voices accompanying mine, and a microphone in my hand freaked me out.

"Sure!" my friend said.

Of course she said yes.  This was her church AND she sang specials by herself all the time.  She was a pro and she was dragging me into it.

I nervously laughed and agreed to singing, but in the back of my mind I was not at all confident as to how this would all unfold.

Let me tell you, I was wise beyond my years.

We didn't have music, so her Mom told us we should sing a cappella like we had all the night before. We chose a song out of the hymnal that all three of us were familiar with and comfortable singing - "Shine Jesus Shine".  Easy enough, right?

Wrong.

First of all, that's like the highest song in existence. It's impossible to do without singing falsetto the entire time.  For crying out loud, we sounded like premature chipmunks.  We got to the church early to practice and our squeaky little voices sank into the sanctuary pews like a needle dropping in a football stadium.  We needed some volume!

They got the mics all set up and we anxiously waited on the front row, legs bouncing up and down, sweaty palms, and butterflies in our stomach.  I secretly hoped they would forget to announce us.

No such luck.

Why couldn't we just sing MMMBop and get it over with?  I mean, we were good at that. We could have changed the words to "Mmmbop, God is my rock, ba duba dop ba du bop ...."

Nope.

The time came for us to sing.  I was just about to vomit.  The three of us gathered around the pulpit, microphones in hand and fake smiles plastered on our faces.  Well, mine was fake.  Mine was to cover up the look of sheer panic and nausea that filled my body.

The congregation sat quietly waiting for us to begin, hands folded properly atop their Bibles with perfect posture.  Since we didn't have music, we made our friend do a little hum thing to set the pitch.

Bad idea.

She did the hum.  I started to grin.  My grin turned into a chuckle.  My friend next to me heard the chuckle and she started to giggle.  I mean, who did we think we were, Destiny's Child?  We were humming to set pitches and singing a cappella and it was all just ridiculous.  I tried with every fiber of my being to regain composure.

"Shine Jesus Shine, fill this land with the Father's glory ...."

Someone squeaked.  For crying out loud, we were ALL squeaking, but this was a super squeak.  I held my hymnal high above my face (as if that was going to distract from it all) and started full out LAUGHING.  I mean, I could not stop for the life of me.  I was pinching my legs, biting my lip, trying to inflict torturous pain on myself, but it did not help - I could not stop laughing.

My friend next to me began laughing.  At this point, only one of us was singing and the rest of the place was dead silent because THERE WAS NO MUSIC to cover up our giggles!

The congregation stared holes through us ... stone faced ... not amused.

They stared.  We laughed.  And in between, was dead silence.

Crickets.

Crickets.

For some reason, this made it worse.  My friend who was actually singing started to laugh, too, and then high tailed it to the piano leaving us high and dry to fend for ourselves.  She bursted forth with the tunes (FINALLY! Some MUSIC!), in hopes that would help us out and calm us down enough to sing.

We regained our composure a little bit ... enough to sing another little phrase (not even a verse), and then we lost it again. Standing up on stage, facing the multitude, and LAUGHING.  Guys, it was MORTIFYING, yet we could not stop!

As my eyes scanned the congregation, I spotted my friend's mom.  She looked like she had seen a ghost.  There was not even a sympathy smile in the entire sanctuary, and certainly not one on her face.  She motioned for us to get off the stage, and we bolted out of there as fast as our little legs would take us. Our friend finished the song on the piano and by that time, my other friend and I were long gone ... sinking into the back row with our Bibles over our faces.

I knew it was a bad idea to begin with and let me tell you, it was even worse than I had imagined.  I never showed my face back in that church again, and I certainly never signed up to sing another special.

It was hands down the most awkwardly embarrassing moment up to that point in my life.

Want to share one of YOUR embarrassing moments? Link up!








11 comments:

  1. Hi-lar-ious! As a pastors daughter I did a lot of special numbers but it would have been too funny to have been there for yours, love it!

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  2. Sooo funny! It is so hard to stop laughing once the giggles begin. I feel for you :)

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  3. That must have been mortifying! I can totally picture it. I wrote once about my most embarrassing moment and it was a doozy. I will link to it.

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  4. Church giggles are the worst and they've happened to us all!

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  5. Oh my word thanks for the laugh!!!!! My friend and I went caroling one Christmas (around age 10) and the same thing happened to us! We just started laughing hysterically and the neighbors at the door stared at each other, and then at us, wondering what the heck was going on. I ran off and left my friend in the dust! So embarrassing. But yours takes the cake, I must say!! Great story!!

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  6. The way you told this story was HILARIOUS - I was crying from laughing so hard.

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May the Lord bless you and keep you safe today! Thanks for the comment, friends! :)

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