Do you remember when you were a little girl and dreamed of your Prince Charming sweeping you off of your feet and carrying you sweetly into your happily ever after? The dreams of who he would be and the excitement that flooded your heart when you imagined him was almost overwhelming. You looked ahead to your wedding day, your life as newlyweds, the future with that perfect someone that was filled with endless possibilities and opportunities. It was the greatest adventure a little girl could ever dream up!
And then you meet that special someone and your dreams quickly become your reality. You are so wrapped up in love that it's hard to see straight. You look back on what you dreamed your husband would be like and proudly smile with who he is.
I love seeing newlyweds with that spark of such enthusiasm and love for one another. It's so charming and just a delight to see, especially in this day and age. But something that I love even more than seeing newlyweds with that passion, is seeing an established, well-aged marriage with that same spark. The couples who have been together for many years and you still see that look in their eye when they catch each other's glance from across the room. The man who cherishes his wife and the woman who respects her husband. It is the absolute essence of romance.
I feel like there are many "secrets" to a happy love-filled marriage (those "secrets" are plainly revealed in Scripture), but one I have been very passionate about lately is this one.
This quote (from Pinterest) caught my eye a couple weeks ago and I think it should be plastered on every wife's handbag, fridge, mirror - wherever they can see it often. A lot of married ladies get sucked into the trap of "husband-bashing", especially when out with girl friends, on social media, etc., and nothing irritates me more. You know the saying that those you love the most, you end up treating the worst? Well, there is something extremely wrong with that mindset. How dare the people we cherish the most in this life become the dirt on our feet. It's just not right. ESPECIALLY when it comes to your spouse.
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
How can your husband trust you if you are bad mouthing him behind his back? Are you harming your husbands reputation simply by the words you choose?
Our husbands are our soul mates. Our other half. How would we feel if they were out with their guy friends speaking horribly about us? It would crush our spirits. It would give us a bitter attitude. It would give us a spirit of distrust and dishonor. It would wound our hearts.
We, as husband and wife, have a responsibility to one another. To love. To cherish. To honor. To obey. To respect.
Sure, we all have things that irritate us about each other and things that sometimes make us crazy. But I am a firm believer in going to each other with our frustrations and concerns - NOT anyone else. A marriage relationship is a sacred, holy union. We have to guard it with everything we have - our hearts, our minds, our actions ... and our words.
Something I have found with myself is that the more I edify my husband, the harder it is to see the imperfections (even those giant size 13 shoes laying around all over the house). ;) I think it's important to not only edify them to others, but also TO THEM. They need the encouragement and need to see that you are their biggest fan. And you know what? I guarantee they will be yours, too.
And trust me, I am by no means an expert in being a Proverbs 31 wife and mother. It is something I strive for daily, but am lacking in often. I hope and try to live it out as best I can, but goodness sakes, sometimes my attitude just basically needs a BIG overhaul and often times I just throw in the towel for the day. I am humbled to my knees in studying this woman and it is my life's goal to be named with her attributes. This little token of marriage advice is something I feel like I am equipped to encourage y'all with, simply because it's always been something I've been aware of and passionate about. There are other areas that I fail at miserably.
But I just want to encourage you as wives and girlfriends to not get sucked into the world of husband-bashing. Next time you're around it, throw all your friends off guard and say something great about your husband. It will likely change the tone of the conversation, and the evidence of your love and respect for your husband will surely be a testimony.
"Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Ephesians 4:29
Guard your marriage. Guard your words. And value your husband for the gift that he is. Choose to find the Prince Charming in your man every single day.