Husby has had the last two months off between graduation and the start of residency and it has been pure bliss. I have forgotten what it's like to not have him around, but starting today, I am about to get a cold hard reminder. Today marks the first day of his three year residency training. Also, today is our six year anniversary.
The other evening, Husby went to put Levi to bed and as I heard him in there reading Weebie his Bible story, I sat on the couch and burst into tears. All the memories and moments we have made over the past couple of months all came rushing to my mind and I realized that our cherished vacation has reached it's end. Husby came out and as he walked past me to go back to his seat on the couch, he gave me a kiss on the head and told me he loved me.
I scream cried, "I L-L-LOVE YOU.... TOOOOOOO" as the tears flew out every which way.
Looking concerned, Husby asked, "what is WRONG, honey", as he quickly took a seat beside me and put his arms around me. I buried my head in his chest and said between sobs, "I ... don't ... want ... you ... to ... lllllleeeaaaaavvvvvvveeee."
He quietly held me close, kissed my head and said, "I know, honey. I don't want to start back, either."
By this time, I was a blubbering idiot.
"I just want you to quit and stay home with me and Levi every day for the rest of our lives."
"Whitney, we couldn't survive."
"I don't care! I just want to be together! That's all that matters to me!" ... tears tears sobs sobs.
As he sat and comforted me and told me how fast these three years are going to go, I burst into tears again.
"But I don't WANT it to go fast because then Levi will be FIVE......!!!" Uncontrollable bawling. "I just want him to stay a baby and I just want you to be home with us!!!!!"
Wow. This was getting a bit absurd.
Husby chuckled quietly and just listened, whispering, "I know, honey. I know."
A few minutes later, Levi started crying, "MOMMY!" I ran in his room and laid down next to him. He grabbed my hand and clasped it tightly into his and held my arm close to his chest like he usually holds Ernie. In the dark, still of the night, he said, "Mommy? I love you to the moon and back."
Well, here we go again. WATER. WORKS.
I cried and sobbed and held my baby as close as I possibly could. When I tried moving my hand, he grabbed it and pulled it back as tight as he could until he fell into a deep sleep.
My emotions had run the gamut.
Looking back on the whole scenario, I realize how dramatic I was being, but it's truly exactly what I felt. There is no person on the face of this earth that I love being with more than I love being with Husby. Days, life, moments are just more beautiful with him. He truly is my heart. And Levi? Time just passes too quickly. Even though I am with him all day, every day, and have been for the entirety of his life, I still feel like time has slipped away. Right before my very eyes. It's just not fair.
The next day, Husby had to leave for orientation and Levi and I fell back into our old routine. I thought about the night before and though I was sad Husby wasn't home, I felt fine and not as emotional about our lazy days together being over. As they say, all good things must come to an end. Right about then, the doorbell rang and this came in the mail:
Husby had ordered me a stainless steel cookie cutter of Levi's ACTUAL hand! He had it traced and made into a cookie cutter. If that's not the sweetest thing on earth, I'm not sure what is. Levi's name, age and a sweet personal message are engraved on the side and it was the perfect gift that arrived exactly when I needed it most.
My boys melt my heart.
Looking back over these six years - the biggest, best, most life changing years of my life, I am overwhelmed with God's goodness, His faithfulness, and His countless blessings He has poured into our marriage. He divinely appointed the union of Husby and me, and together, we are living out our dreams.