Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Draw Me Nearer.

I remember the week I brought Levi home, I tried my hardest to explain my love for him. It was near impossible. I simply couldn't compose the right words in my mind to explain this intense and immense love. It was just nothing I had ever before experienced, so it was very overwhelming. This little life, that I had prayed over for 9 months, was finally resting in my arms and was truly the biggest blessing I'd ever received.

As I tried to explain this love, a dear friend said to me - "Whitney, think of your love for Levi. Now. Can you imagine the love God has for you?"

Wow. That truly hit me. I felt as if I finally understood yet another intricate part of my Lord. I could finally connect to Him on this new level that I had never known and I had a deeper realization of how much He loves me, without ever fully knowing the true level of that love. Though I will never experience THAT level of love, I have a better understanding of a smidgen of that love. And it's breathtaking, wonderful and incomprehensible.

Having Levi has opened my eyes in so many ways concerning my relationship with God. In our relationship, I am Levi and He is me. I am his child, and I will never know the depth of His love.

When Levi cries and I comfort him, I envision my crying out to the Lord, and His intense comfort.

When Levi needs fed, I think of my need for spiritual food - God's Word, and how I should desire it as strongly as Levi desires his bottle.

When Levi smiles at me or "talks" to me with his coo's, and my heart melts into a thousand little puddles, I think of how God desires that same relationship with me. Nudging, and prodding me until I talk to Him, smile at Him, and strengthen my relationship with Him.

I think of Abraham, and I fall apart in tears - finally understanding his situation better and truly hurting for him when God instructed him to offer his son Isaac up as a sacrifice. I. Cannot. Imagine.

To have that faith.

To have that strength.

To have that courage.

To trust that deeply.

Little Levi opens my eyes in more ways than he will ever know, until he has a child of his own one day. He makes me a better person. He helps draw me nearer to my God.

What draws you nearer?

17 comments:

  1. Nursing draws me nearer to God. When I was in school, and in human physiology, I learned a lot about the body - about how the human eye is so intricate and complicated that we still don't know all of its inner workings. How everything has to form just so to make a person, and how INCREDIBLY difficult and next to impossible that seems to be - yet it happens, every day. How perfect God made us.

    And now that I'm a nurse in the NICU, I watch miracles. All the time. Every day. And it reminds me how much God loves us, and those tiny little ones. We see a lot of joy, and a lot of grief, and I know that God is laughing and crying right along with us. He's there, in the NICU... And the rest of the hospital too, but I feel Him in the NI. A lot. It's nice to know that there's somebody bigger than us in charge of all of that...

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  2. You are so on point. I remember feeling the exact same way! And now, I find myself getting bogged down in the day to day routine, and even the immense love you have for your kids can get drowned out by temper tantrums and assertions of their ever growing wills. Sometimes, as I'm in the middle of doing the mundane day to day tasks, wiping hineys, sweeping cheerios, picking toys for the 5th time in one day, I feel the Lord gently nudge me and remind me of how blessed I am to be doing these mundane tasks. How many women don't get to be home with their children. And when my 3 year old tells me she loves me with absolutely no prodding of mine, it lifts my spirits in a way that I cannot even express. It takes me back to the first day I held her. And you're right, I bet God's heart explodes with love and joy when we love Him through our obedience to His word or choose to spend time with Him over watching our favorite program on TV.

    Children are a blessing in more ways than I think we can truly appreciate or understand until we have them. Children are a daily reminder of how childlike we must be as we approach our Father.

    Thanks for the post today, Whitney. You are a blessing to me.

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  3. Great post, and great food for thought! God's word always drawms me nearer to him... I love rereading all of this promises hope and a future with Him.

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  4. Great post, and great food for thought! God's word always drawms me nearer to him... I love rereading all of this promises hope and a future with Him.

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  5. You have explained this so well. I have no children of my own, but the way that you have portrayed this gave me shivers. It truly is the best comparison. It brings tears to my eyes to think of how I treat our Lord and Saviour. I think I need to take a good look at how I can make more time for the Lord and so on. Thank you for this post!!

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  6. Beautiful thoughts, Whitney! How deep the Father's love for us.

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  7. This is wonderful!! I love this and it's so amazing to know that his love is unconditional for us!

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  8. Whitney, this is just beautiful. I don't have kids yet, but sometimes I get overwhelmed thinking of how much I already love the kids that I will have. Thanks for sharing.

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  9. Beautiful Whitney!

    When I was new to motherhood, someone loaned me the book, Diapers, Pacifiers and Other Holy Things. Similar to your experience with Levi, it approaches even the mundane tasks of motherhood as moments where (if we are open) we can be taught something by or about God.

    Precious times.

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  10. Draw me nearer, nearer blessed Lord. To the cross where Thou hast died. Nearer, nearer, blessed Lord to thy precious bleeding side.
    I couldnt read this post without singing this hymn aloud. Love it.

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  11. WHITNEY! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?

    This was the EXACT post I was working on last night for later this week!! I'm completely serious. I have been really thinking lately about how much richer my faith has become since I've had a baby. It is breathtaking to me.

    I love your comparison to Levi talking to you and God wanting you to talk to him. So simple, and so true.

    ARE YOU READING MY MIND, LADY???

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  12. Good comparison and good thoughts.

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  13. Exactly what you said! :)
    Having children was such an eye-opener to the love of God...I was so blown away...
    GREAT Post!

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  14. Oh how I agree with you Whitney. When I had Eric I began to better understand God's love for me. I too have a hard time with Abraham and Isaac. How very difficult it would be to have to sacrifice your only son. It does help to feel what Abraham must have felt with the deep love he had for Isaac.
    Whew, that would take so much to give up your son.
    Thanks for sharing.

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  15. Hmmm.... There are several things.... I would say creation does for sure - whether it's in rain, thunder, sunshine, wind.... and then in the blessings. I never cease to be amazed at the incredible blessings the Lord gives. And also, in the hurts, not only of me, but of others. Those things draw me closer and give me more compassion.

    Yay Jesus!

    ~K

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May the Lord bless you and keep you safe today! Thanks for the comment, friends! :)

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