Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Mommy Feelings

I always thought I knew what it would be like to be a Mom. I thought I knew how I would love my baby. I thought I was prepared for the feelings I would have. Now that I am living my dream and finally have my son in my arms, I realize that I had no idea.

You can't prepare a person for the feelings they will have for their child. I have heard time and again in my lifetime, "just wait until you have a baby, then you will understand." I always brushed that phrase off and thought "yeah, yeah, I know...blah, blah." But I had absolutely no idea how true that statement really was. You simply can not understand until you have experienced it. The love, the feelings that we have for this dear child is overwhelmingly great.

I spent the first week of his life bawling every time he looked me in the eyes. The first night home from the hospital, Mom fixed an elaborate feast and my Dad came up to eat with all of us. As they did the dishes in the kitchen after the lovely meal, I sat in the living room holding little Levi. I was overcome with emotion and just started bawling. Mom looked up from the sink, saw me crying and immediately ran over to me.

"What's wrong?!" she asked.

"I don't KNOW!" I replied.

Husby and Dad followed her as they saw the tears gushing from my face and I was surrounded by some of the people in this world that I love most dearly. As my family gathered around me, patting, stroking and hugging me, little Levi just stared at me. He would not look away. His little eyes were transfixed on my face. The harder I cried, the more he stared, and the more he stared, the harder I cried. I could not believe I was finally holding this little child that I have prayed all of my life for. Mom, Dad and Husby could not believe how Levi was staring at me, and they all whipped out their cameras to document the sweet moment. I simply can't explain the feeling!

Some advice I got from some veteran mommas before Levi was born was this: "Hold him. Hold him and cuddle him and love him. Time goes by so fast and before you know it, he'll be crawling and talking." I am not ashamed to say that I have taken this advice to heart and I hold my baby alllll the time. The other day, Mom asked, "how do you not just hold him and kiss him all day long?" I looked at Husby and then looked at her and said, "Um...I do." :)

So far, being a Mom is absolutely everything I thought it would be PLUS so.much.more. It is a fantastic journey that I am privileged and honored to be a part of. I could not love my little boy more than I do. He is quite the little blessing.

If you don't have a baby yet, I highly recommend it. ;)

24 comments:

  1. Hi Whitney,

    I read your blog since months ago.Congratulations to your family.

    Levi indeed a cute baby!

    And when you said you highly recommended for baby,I was like...erm..how to say??..I love babies.Really really love,but I scare for the giving birth process.I knew that it must be really hurt..

    I'm engaged now,starting to think of my own future family.

    Maybe you can provide me some advice.

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  2. Babies - I've got mine! LOL! And what is it about those sweet, sweet little boys, huh?

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  3. I agree. Holding Aaron for the first time was an absolutely amazing feeling. These feelings will just grow and grow. Get ready.

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  4. I did that with both of my babies, but the first one is just so life changing. I remember looking at my first born and feeling like my soul was going to explode out of my body. Nothing can even describe the immense joy and hope you feel when you look at that baby. I was like you in that I've known I wanted to be a mother, and I've longed for the day I got to hold my baby since I was 15.

    Good on you for holding him that much! You can't spoil a newborn...now, a 4 month old can absolutely be spoiled...but you'll cross that bridge when you come to it :)

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  5. What sweet words from a mommy's heart! Still, I can't wait to see your mothering skills in action :)

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  6. Awe! You make it sound so great...maybe I'll START thinking about it ;-)

    Seriously, I'm so happy for you! Levi is so precious!

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  7. Those moments are priceless. Cherish them and eat them up! My favorite moments with Caleb are when we rock together. I loved taking naps with him in the glider when he was itty-bitty. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I gave him as much alone time as I did (that's paid off now that he's older--he's a very content baby!) but those sweet, quiet moments together create that bond that is absolutely unexplainable.

    And, it only gets better. How cool is that.

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  8. So. SO. SO. true! I'm a firm believer in you cant hold a baby enough. Still with my son being 2 whenever he asks to be held... my answer is always ABSOLUTELY! i know the time is short and i cherish it!

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  9. Hi Whitney ~ I agree...When Cassie was born, I could not put her down. I wouldn't even let her dad hold her...I know, that's mean, but I didn't want anything happening to her. Every noise she made, I was right there.

    And the same went for Mark...an oh man, how time flies...way too fast!

    Don't ever let go!!!

    Hugz,
    Michele

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  10. You are just the cutest!!! And you sound like the best mom!! So happy for you Whitney!!!=)

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  11. How sweet. So glad you are feeling good and getting to spend lots of time loving on your new boy. :)

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  12. Girl, I need to take a break from reading your sweet posts. I'm wanting a baby in the worst way but my wonderful hubby doesn't seem to be quite ready yet. I'm so happy for you, Levi really does seem like the sweetest baby ever.

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  13. what a sweet post. I'm so glad you have little levi and are enjoying it so much :) I am most definitely praying for one of my own!

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  14. You make me have some serious baby fever! I say this all the time, "I am so happy for you" -- You have the sweetest soul I have ever met (well, read in this case!) and I am sitting here with a smile on my face knowing your joy as a mother!

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  15. Such a sweet post! Way to spread the baby fever! ;)

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  16. I love this post whitney, I am in tears! I cannot wait to hold our lil bundle for the first time... Im feel so blesssed to be able to follow along you and your families journey. Thank you so much for sharing!

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  17. This post makes me excited to one day become a mother. :D

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  18. How Sweet! :) You sound like an amazing momma!

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  19. Definitely hold him! I can't believe the mentality of some moms. "Don't hold them because you'll spoil them!" It's hogwash. You can't spoil newborns! And my firstborn was held (even slept in my bed, in the crook of my arm) for 10 months straight. She's SO independent now as a 4 year old and hasn't slept with us for 3 years. She went to a Big Girl bed when she was 19 months old.

    Anyway, just wanted to say this post warmed my heart. It's refreshing to see a mom so in love! I remember crying those first couple weeks home, too!

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  20. Too sweet :)

    I am still scared of the process of having a baby...if one could appear in our house, though, that might work!

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  21. So, so thrilled you are enjoying him and soaking it up~

    Blessings~

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  22. sweet little levi. can't wait to see him again.

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  23. That is so beautiful. I'm preggo and due in December and just can't wait to feel those feelings. Congrats on little Levi...he is a doll.

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  24. Whitney,
    I'm Kim - I ran across your blog on a friend's blog list. I am a 30-something mom of three. The advice you received from the veteran mommas is true! So many moms spend the days wishing time away - looking forward to the next milestone. Lifting the head, rolling over, crawling, talking, walking...my advice would be to cherish each moment. The sweet baby moments pass so quickly! Once that new milestone is reached there is no going back. My baby is 18 months and overnight he has lost his 'baby' look and is looking more like a little boy. I am so excited to see what he will become but I am not ready for him to be anything other than the sweet little toddler he is today. I love his little zombie walk, I am enjoying being able to catch him - soon enough he will be running and I will find myself getting into better shape to keep up. :) Well, enough about my bundle - enjoy your little Levi. Soak up every snuggly, heaven scent moment.
    Blessings to you as you become the housewife that God obviously created you to be.
    Kim

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May the Lord bless you and keep you safe today! Thanks for the comment, friends! :)

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